The Left Knows What Men Want – Dumb Blondes and Bison

Posted on February 18, 2013 by Tom Balek Standard 1

meghan kelly Today, while waiting for a haircut at a local “clip joint”, I looked for a magazine to pass the time. Of the 50 or so in the rack, I found only one that was not written for women. I admit I was tempted to open one of the ladies’ rags to find out “What Men Really Want”, as promised on the cover. Not that I care about other men, mind you – I just wanted to see if the editors got it right. But my old-school inhibitions kicked in, and I reached for the men’s magazine instead.

It was called “Men’s Something or Other” – I had never seen or heard of it before. The titles on the cover left no doubt that the editors knew exactly what would catch the eye of any reader under the influence of testosterone. Like, “The Sexy Blondes at Fox News”.

As soon as I opened the cover, I realized something was wrong. None of the articles resembled the titles. In fact, each was a left-wing political manifesto, thinly veiled as an article of legitimate interest to men.

The piece about the Fox News women was hilarious. The writer expressed how aroused “he” is whenever “he” sees “fake blondes” Gretchen Carlson or Meghan Kelly. “He” fantasizes about sexual encounters with them, sharing with the world how their stupidity makes “him” all the more horny. The language was reminiscent of seventh grade locker room talk, except when describing the specific political issues that demonstrate how stupid the Fox women really are.

Note the quote marks I placed around “him”. I inserted them because there’s no way in hell that article was written by a man. At least not a heterosexual one. I’m sorry, but no man on earth would admit – repeatedly and enthusiastically – that he experiences physical arousal from watching the news. Or that the more he politically disagrees with a woman, the more physically aroused he becomes. Or that he gives a hoot whether a woman’s hair is artificially colored or not.

The article was mercifully short, and with trepidation I thumbed to the next item of primal interest to us manly men – a passionate tome about the “Ten Most Urgent Steps To Stop Global Climate Change.” Number one was the mission to stop burning coal, followed by the worn-out left-wing checklist: more wind and solar power, eliminate all offshore oil drilling, and ban fracking.

It was item number five that made my jaw drop:

“Place free-roaming bison herds in the CM Russell Wildlife Refuge of Central Montana”. What the hell does that have to do with Climate Change?

The hair-person (I sure miss barber shops) called my name and I shuffled to the chair, my mind reeling from all the things that are wrong with this picture. Was the “men’s” magazine a fake-out, actually written by Valerie Jarrett to subliminally indoctrinate us unsuspecting neanderthals? Or was it an actual attempt to publish a real men’s magazine by female editors who have never had a date?

Anyway, it again illustrates that there are no “special interest” groups on the left. All leftists support all leftist causes. What else could explain the promotion of bison – specifically bison dropped into the CMR of Montana – as a solution to climate change?

Rockin’ On the Right Side – Tom Balek

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I see them looking
I make them want me

I like to tease them
And they want to touch me
I never let them

I Know What Boys Like – the Waitresses

This may be the campiest video ever featured in “Rockin’ On the Right Side” . . .

Nancy Pelosi – Alzheimers Victim?

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Tom Balek Standard 1

pelosi There she was, across from Chris Wallace. Her taught facial lines belied her 73 years, her posture was perfect, and her bright eyes and smile registered a ten on the energy scale.

It was when she opened her mouth that things went awry.

Early in the interview, she called Chris Wallace “Bill”. (It was removed from the Fox transcript to prevent embarrassment to Wallace – see this YouTube video and skip to the 4:00 mark.)

(Update – Fox transcript now says “Here’s the thing though . . .” On Sunday two of us thought we heard “Here’s the thing, Bill” independently — it appears we were both wrong. – Tom)

Wallace asked her why she can’t cut $85 billion (2%) out of the government’s $3.5 trillion budget. Her response: “Well, we have cut in terms of agriculture subsidies, there are tens of billions of dollars in cuts there and that should be balanced with eliminating subsidy for big oil. Why should we do — why should we lower Pell Grants instead of eliminating the subsidies for big oil?”

Huh?

Wallace pressed her again: “Why not just cut spending? Eighty-five billion dollars in a $3.5 trillion government.”

Her response: “The fact is that a lot of the spending increases came during the Bush administration. Two unpaid for wars we got ourselves engaged in. A prescription drug plan that added enormous amounts to our spending, and the tax cuts at the high end that did not create jobs and create revenue coming.”

What?

Why didn’t you move to end funding for the wars, repeal the prescription drug benefit plan, and reverse the tax cuts when you were Speaker of the House and your party also held the presidency and the Senate? And what does a former president, after four years of retirement, have to with the current federal budget (or lack thereof)?

When Wallace pointed out that the top 5% pay 59% of all federal taxes, Pelosi said she doesn’t want to raise taxes again on the wealthy. Then she blurted, “We also have the Buffett Rule which says all of the high income people would pay a minimum of — they would have to pay — ”

Wallace: “So, you’re raising tax on the wealthy.”

Pelosi: “No, you are saying they should pay their fair share, which is 30 percent, which is even lower than 39.6, which is the rate — the bracket they are in.”

Nancy was becoming more flustered and incoherent by the minute.

Then Wallace asked for her position on gun control. Her answer was beyond bizarre:

“No further sales of the increased capacity, 30 rounds in a gun. We are talking about background checks which is very popular, even among gun owners, and, hunters. We avow the First Amendment, we stand with that, and say that people have a right to have a gun to protect themselves in their homes and their jobs, whatever. And that they — and their workplace — and that they, for recreation and hunting and the rest.”

Is it possible she doesn’t know that the right to bear arms is granted in the Second Amendment? Or have all those years of “inside the Beltway” cocktail parties just made her “comfortably numb?”

I don’t wish to make light of senility. Alzheimer’s is a serious problem.

Maybe it should also be a disqualifier for a seat in Congress.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Bill! I love you so, I always will . . .

I was on your side Bill when you were losin’,
I’ll never scheme or lie Bill, there’s been no foolin’!

Wedding Bell Blues – Marilyn McCoo
the Fifth Dimension
written by Laura Nyro

Even Liberal Musicians Rock On the Right Side Sometimes

Posted on January 25, 2013 by Tom Balek Standard Reply

Sometimes it’s hard to reconcile my conservative viewpoints with my claim to be a classic rock guitar-slinger. Yes, I must sheepishly admit that I have sung John Lennon’s “Imagine” in public – to Montana cowboys, no less. And yes, my fellow rock songwriters came up with such mindless liberal claptrap as “Love the One You’re With” and “We Are the World, We Are the Children”.

Still, it’s surprising how often musicians and songwriters, who normally lurch leftward in lockstep, are caught “Rockin’ On the Right Side”.

Here are a few golden nuggets of conservative logic unexpectedly gleaned from the bottom of the old prospector’s pan:

• “I’m in trouble deep, but I’ve made up my mind – I’m keeping my baby!” – Madonna, ‘Papa Don’t Preach’
• “Tax the rich, feed the poor – until there ain’t no rich no more.” – Alvin Lee, ‘I’d Love to Save the World’
• “Let me tell you how it will be, there’s one for you, nineteen for me. ‘Cause I’m the taxman.” – George Harrison, ‘Taxman’
• “You say you’ll change the constitution. Well, you know – we all want to change your head.” – John Lennon, ‘Revolution’.
• “If ya can’t feed the baby, then don’t have a baby!” – Michael Jackson, ‘Wanna Be Startin’ Something’
• “I pay my money to the welfare line – I see you standing in it every time!” – War, ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends’
• “You can’t always get what you want.” – Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’
• “All the things that made us great got left so far behind.” – John Fogerty, ‘Gunslinger”

I love my rock and roll, in spite of the preponderance of underinformed knuckleheads in our fraternity. They mean well, they just don’t know any better. When one of them slips up and starts “Rockin’ On the Right Side”, I have to give a little cheer!

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

How Do You Do It, Max Baucus?

Posted on January 20, 2013 by Tom Balek Standard 5

baucus Max Baucus has represented Montana in the U.S. Senate since 1978, and has been re-elected six times. He plans to run again next year.

Baucus has overcome a slew of criticisms to maintain his grip on the biggest pot of money on planet Earth. Critics say Baucus has lost touch with Montana, doesn’t live there, and rarely visits the state he represents. I believe voters cut him some slack on that one. His work is in the nation’s capital, and it makes sense that he should have a home there. Still, many Montanans are concerned that 91% of his previous campaign funds came from out-of-state sources.

Max’s personal morals have also been called into question, including lurid stories in the national press of divorces and infidelity, jobs for girlfriends, and crony capitalism. The video of Baucus’ apparently-inebriated speech on the Senate floor has 2 million YouTube hits. Defenders say he was just “tired” – watch the video and judge for yourself. But Bill Clinton lowered the threshold of voter pain on skanky behavior, and Barack Obama has established crony paybacks as an acceptable primary fundraising strategy in the expensive world of national politics. The “Foster Brooks” impersonation was avoided by the mainstream media. Montanans might believe lapses in personal ethics can be overlooked if their congressman votes right.

Montanans should be alarmed, however, when Baucus’ votes and considerable influence run counter to their principles. Responses from the last five years of Montana Chamber of Commerce surveys indicate:

64% (5-yr. avg.) of Montana voters say our national economy is on the ‘wrong track’, versus 23% ‘right track’, with chronic unemployment, anemic GDP growth, and irreparable debt and deficits. All that time Senator Baucus has been at the helm of Senate committees including Finance, Taxation, IRS Oversight, Long-term Growth, Fiscal Responsibility and Economic Growth, and Deficit Reduction. The Senate has not passed a budget for four years, and looks as if they never will.

While Montanans’ top financial concern continues to be health care costs, Senator Baucus led the charge for ObamaCare, despite knowing it would raise taxes on Americans, damage Medicare, and add to the national debt and deficits. He has always been tight with “Big-Pharma” lobbyists, and remains one of the leading recipients of political contributions from health insurance and pharmaceutical companies.

A solid majority of Montanans have unfavorable opinions of environmental groups, labor unions, and trial lawyers. Baucus supported unpopular global warming legislation, the unions salivate over the millions of new members they will gain thanks to his health care reform plans, and trial lawyers shovel endless money to Baucus campaigns in exchange for avoiding tort reform in Max’s health care bills.

With all of this baggage, and Baucus’ apparent disdain for Montana voters, how does he keep getting re-elected?

Is it the huge sums of money required for an opponent to even consider going toe-to-toe with the well-connected incumbent Senator? (He has already amassed a $3 million war chest for the the next go-around.)

Is it the decades of pork he has funneled to his state? (Montana receives $1.47 back from the federal government for every dollar it pays in taxes.)

Is it his personal charm and boyish good looks? (Women do tend to vote for Democrats.)

It’s time for good conservatives (some of whom are Republicans) to start a serious search for a Senate contender who does not have personal baggage, who can win the hearts and minds of those with financial means, and who is serious about a calling higher than re-election.

Can anybody displace Max Baucus? It just doesn’t seem like it should be that hard.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

How do you do what you do to me?
I’m feeling blue.
Wish I knew how you do it to me,
But I haven’t a clue.

How Do You Do It? – Gerry and the Pacemakers
(also recorded by the Beatles)
Here’s a great video of one of the most under-rated musicians (Gerry Marsden) and bands (the Pacemakers) of the sixties and the British Invasion. Enjoy!

Govt. Spending Priority List – It’s Upside Down!

Posted on January 7, 2013 by Tom Balek Standard Reply

upside-down You might think our free-spending government does not have a priority list. From all appearances, once they have spent on an item or a program, they will continue to spend on that item or program forever – adding new items and programs to the list, but never removing any.

If we taxpayers wrote a priority list, at the top would be the things that are most important to us, and at the bottom we would put the porky programs that don’t accomplish anything, are obsolete, are wasteful or are flat-out fraudulent. If we needed to cut the budget, we would go to the bottom of the list and start whacking away. The stuff at the top would be protected.

The government priority list is the same as ours, except upside-down. Whenever taxpayers balk at spending more money, or increasing the debt limit, the government threatens to cut the things that are most important to us:

Cut spending? Why, we’ll have to get rid of all the teachers and firemen! No social security, either! And we’ll have to stop national defense completely! Why, if we cut taxes, we can’t afford to provide any help to the disabled!

Of course, we will have to keep funding the Essential Air Service program and subsidizing $3,652 for every airline ticket to Billings – that’s essential! And how could we cut the subsidies to our campaign contributors in the Green Energy business? They are broke! They need our help! And of course our unionized government employees are entitled to earn double the rate that taxpayers earn, for half the hours of work, and get fat guaranteed pensions at a young age. How could we cut back there?

When I lived in Topeka, KS, we had a mosquito problem every summer. And the county government milked that baby for all it was worth. Whenever the county wanted more money for whatever frivolous reason, they would threaten first to stop spraying for mosquitoes. Worked like a charm.

Oh yes, the government has the same spending priority list we do. It’s just upside down.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Upside down, boy, you turn me
Inside out, and round and round
Upside down, boy, you turn me
Inside out, and round and round

Upside Down – Diana Ross

Didn’t know she could dance! Watch Diana bust a move with Michael Jackson!

Cowboys and Cowgirls Needed – Apply Now

Posted on January 6, 2013 by Tom Balek Standard 1

I am more concerned every day about the lack of leadership in our national affairs. As the well-being and security of our citizens continues to decline, the dearth of leadership among our federal political officials becomes more evident and more critical.

There’s a big difference between leadership and arrogance. Just saying “follow me” isn’t helpful when the leader is stumbling off a cliff. A true leader must have:

vision – a clear understanding of the situation as it is and the correct path to what it should be
honesty – zero-tolerance of any person or action motivated by personal gain ahead of mission
optimism and inspiration – the genuine desire to make things better for all, and the belief that improvement is not only possible, it is necessary
resolve – shared goals that are unshakeable, and determination to accomplish those goals
responsibility and accountability – willingness to shoulder burdens for the benefit of others, to admit and recover from failures, and to be open to criticism
courage – the ability to stay cool under fire and focused on the goal

Where are the true leaders today? We have plenty of idealogues. Demagoguery has become an art form. Politicians have learned to exploit the weaker instincts of their constituents – fear, envy, selfishness and laziness – using psychology to manipulate voters. Public officials seem to be only inspired to gain and hold power, without even bothering to seek solutions.

Where are the principled journalists? The pursuit of truth has been replaced by a vapid addiction to titillation and sensationalism. We are told that “sex sells”, and that the pursuit of profit is now the sole motivator in the the news business. That in itself is deceitful because consumers of news are not given a choice. The reality is our elite news media seek to empower themselves using the same psychological manipulations employed by our self-serving political leaders.

Is the lack of leadership a symptom of what’s wrong with America? Or is it the cause? Do we still believe that the qualities of true leadership matter? Do we employ them in our own lives?

I contend that we don’t need more new ideas. We don’t need more laws. We certainly don’t need more self-absorbed charlatans in public office.

We can get out of this mess and back on the right track. We just need to find, encourage, elevate, and empower true leaders at every level of our society, bottom to top. Are you one?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Where is my Marlboro man?
Where is his shiny gun?
Where is my lonely ranger?
Where have all the cowboys gone?

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone – Paula Cole

Magic! We’ll Never Have To Work Again!

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Tom Balek Standard 5

Readers of my blog have often heard me proclaim my faith in basic economics. I still have that faith. At it’s most basic level, here’s what I believe:

every person on earth wants to improve his or her family’s standard of living
the more scarce something is (goods, talent, labor), the higher its value
we obtain things that we want by providing somebody else something they want
rather than exchanging chickens for gasoline, and labor for nails, we use a “medium of exchange”

IOU Macroeconomics makes sense as long as we have a medium of exchange that we can trade back and forth with each other, and we all agree on its relative value. Here in the United States we use dollars.

Sam’s employer will give him twenty dollars for loading a truck for an hour. Sam will give twenty dollars to the pet store for a bag of dog food. The store will give twenty dollars to the utility company for an hour’s worth of electricity. It works great as long as we all agree on the relative worth of twenty dollars.

Here’s where it gets tricky. Twenty dollars is a piece of paper in your pocket. You can’t eat it. It won’t keep you warm. It has no intrinsic worth at all. There was a time when that piece of paper could be exchanged for gold (a scarce commodity) at our national treasury, but those days are gone. Now a twenty-dollar bill is nothing more than an IOU – a promise to pay.

Unlike you, the government does not create any wealth. It can take IOUs from one person and give them to another person. And if that’s all it did, the economy would still work. But the government now gives out more IOUs than it takes in. It can do that, because it can print IOUs.

Stick with me now.

It should follow that the more IOUs that are out there, the less each one is worth. Supply and demand, right?

If this were not true, NONE OF US WOULD EVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN. We could just print as many IOUs as it takes to buy whatever we want, just like our government is doing now!

But our government continues to tell us that there is no inflation, they don’t expect inflation, and everything is under control.

You’d have to believe in magic . . .

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive, destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive, for you

Magic – Olivia Newton-John

Herman Cain Calls Out the Racist NY Times

Posted on December 21, 2012 by Tom Balek Standard 1

I was reminded today why I am such a huge Herman Cain. Here is a man with that rare gift of clarity – the ability to cut right through to the truth. I call it “lazer vision”. My wife has that gift too, and it’s why I don’t try to pull even a thread of wool over her eyes.

Just to be clear, I don’t favor Herman Cain because he is African American. I abhor bigotry of any kind, in any direction, by anyone against any perceived or actual “group”. I couldn’t care less what color Cain, or any other public figure, is. What I like is his strong conservative values, his business sense, and his ability to filter out all the nonsense and get down to what’s important and what’s right, with a brevity that every writer or speaker should envy.

Today’s reminder is the response he wrote to a New York Times article by Professor Adolph Reed, Jr.

Professor Reed was critical of South Carolina governor Nikki Haley’s decision to name Tim Scott, a black Republican, to replace Jim DeMint as the state’s US senator. DeMint is retiring from the Senate to take a post as president of the Heritage Foundation. Reed cynically claims that “modern black Republicans have been more tokens than signs of progress.” He says that Scott’s politics are “utterly at odds with the preferences of most black Americans. Mr. Scott has been staunchly anti-tax, anti-union and anti-abortion.” Is he saying African Americans are required, because of their skin color, to be pro-tax, pro-union, and pro-abortion?

Most putrid of all is Professor Reed’s contention that all whites are racist: “whites . . . are inclined to vote Republican but don’t want to have to think of themselves, or be thought of by others, as racist.” If he were in front of me, I would punch him in the nose. I don’t “have to” think of myself as a racist?

Clear-thinking Herman Cain nails Reed and all the other Democrats who just can’t remove the tired, old race card from their playbooks. Cain says:

So it’s worth asking, then: What, exactly, are “black interests”? To hear Professor Reed tell it, blacks are a monolithic group of people whose best interests are served when they can be recipients of redistributionist policies at the hands of big government. Let me simplify that for you: He thinks black people need welfare, and can’t make it under the kinds of free-market policies advocated by the likes of Samuel Pierce, Clarence Pendleton, Clarence Thomas and Tim Scott.

When are black Democrats going to reject the continuing insults and humiliation hurled at them by their sacrosanct political leaders and media? When will they stand up and protest their second-class status in the eyes of their “benefactors”? While I’m punching noses, I would certainly tweak the beak of anyone who told me I am so stupid and unmotivated that I, like anyone whose skin pigmentation is similar to mine, am not capable of feeding myself and my family without their merciful help .

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

(What they do) They smile in your face!
All the time they want to take your place,
The back stabbers (back stabbers!)
They smile in your face!
Smiling faces, Smiling faces sometimes tell lies (back stabbers!)
They smile in your face!
I don’t need low down dirty bastards (back stabbers!)

Back Stabbers – the O’Jays

Huh?

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Tom Balek Standard 12

Why do Detroit parents allow their teachers to take instruction days off to protest union matters when only 4% of their students are proficient in math and 7% in language arts?
Why does my small Montana town have “Essential Air Service” taxpayer subsidies costing thousands of dollars per airline ticket when we average only one passenger per day? (Lewistown News Argus 12/8/2012)
Why doesn’t the number of administrative employees decrease in government offices, due to improved technology and communication, as it does in the private sector?
How can our nation afford all the countless grants our cities and counties are receiving every day for frivolous projects in light our staggering debt?
Why is military pay so pathetic?
How can we expect citizens to make good financial and voting decisions, and contribute to our national standard of living, when our K-12 schools provide no economic education?
Why aren’t airplanes boarded in order by window seat, middle seat, and then aisle seat?
Why do liberals think it is abusive to expect women to buy their own birth control, but are okay with genital mutilation, oppression, and murder of women by Muslims?
Why don’t senators let our military close and sell base properties that they don’t need or want?
Why does the Obama administration consider a couple who makes $250k per year “rich”, yet an individual is not rich until he or she earns $200k per year? (Fewer couples are married now anyway – shouldn’t single “rich” be “$125k? Or shouldn’t married “rich” be $400k?)
Why does the federal reserve think that keeping interest rates near zero is a good thing? Should people be punished for saving money?
Why are we concerned about minor skirmishes in the Middle East but we ignore deaths by the thousands in neighboring Mexico?
Why do liberals have no problem with actors and athletes making millions of dollars, but are indignant when a business owner or executive does?
If liberal rich guys think they should pay more taxes, why don’t they just write a check?
After labeling the Bush tax cuts as “only for the rich” for all these years, why do liberals now insist on keeping the Bush tax cuts mostly in place? Are they admitting that the evil tax cuts helped everybody?
What is the benefit to the United States of giving more F-16 fighter jets to the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt?

Just askin’.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

I’d like to know,
Can you tell me — please don’t tell me
It really doesn’t matter anyhow

Questions 67 and 68 – Chicago

American Patriotism – born 7/4/1776, died 11/6/2012

Posted on December 5, 2012 by Tom Balek Standard 3

graveyard American Patriotism died on November 6, 2012, after a long battle with complications of liberalism.

Born in 1776, in the thirteen colonies of the United States of America, Patriotism was a major contributor to the rapid growth and success of the nation. Because of Patriotism, citizens sacrificed for their country, and took great pride in their joint accomplishments. The United States became a beacon for democracy, personal freedom, and opportunity and led the world in economic and technological advances. Over the course of his life, American Patriotism caused millions of proud US men and women to join the fight to save other nations from tyranny.

In Patriotism’s declining years, the concept of “fairness”, where all citizens shared in the work and cost of running a nation, as well as the rewards, was replaced by a culture in which a shrinking group of workers was expected to take full responsibility for the welfare of everyone else.

On December 5, Detroit city councilwoman and former mayor JoAnn Watson presented the eulogy at Patriotism’s funeral. She spoke eloquently on behalf of the liberals of the United States, extolling their leader, President Obama, to take money from those who have earned it, and give it to those who have not, merely because they voted for him.

“Our people in an overwhelming way supported the re-election of this president and there ought to be a quid pro quo and you ought to exercise leadership on that . . . After the election of Jimmy Carter, the honorable Coleman Alexander Young, he went to Washington, D.C. He came home with some bacon,” said Watson. “That’s what you do.”

Patriotism is survived by Shameless Greed, Selfish Laziness, and Blissful Ignorance. He was preceded in death by Personal Dignity, Christian Values and Responsible Media.

The monument reads,

American Patriotism
1776 – 2012
“Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You
Ask What You Can Do For Your Country” – JFK

Aside from a group of veterans, the funeral was sparsely attended, and prayer was not allowed.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
“Kathy, I’m lost,” I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why
Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike
They’ve all gone to look for America