As you know, my friend Barack gave me a free cell phone a while back.
I don’t use it, but I still have it just in case I need to call Hillary and ask her who wrote Susan Rice’s make-believe talking points about the Benghazi attack. You know, after seven committee investigations, they still haven’t got around to answering that simple question.
Or I might need it to ask Speaker John Boehner why he doesn’t think Susan Lerner needs to explain how so many Tea Party groups and their contributors got singled out for “special treatment” by the IRS.
I probably should use my Obama Phone to call my friend Barack’s wife, Michelle. I have been meaning to ask her how many of the Nigerian girls were released by the terrorists after she “selfied” her hashtag #BringBackOurGirls.
Anyway, it looks like the Obama Phone (Lifeline Assistance) program is still going full speed ahead. I got a letter the other day asking me if I have any friends or relatives who might need a free cell phone. It says:
Dear Tom: (I was kind of surprised they used my name — Barack always calls me “Friend”) We hope you are benefiting from your (free phone). Now you can help others benefit too, by spreading the word to your family and friends! If eligible, they can also apply for Lifeline Assistance and get a FREE phone with 250 FREE voice minutes each month and 250 FREE texts each month. Voicemail, call waiting and caller ID included!
We’ve enclosed two applications for you to share with family and friends who live at a different address. If you need more applications, please ask your family and friends to visit (our website) or call (our number).
Since you are my friends and family, I thought I had better let you know that our government would just love to give away more free cell phones. You know, they are printing all that money at the Federal Reserve, and it just keeps piling up and getting in the way. My friend Barack and all of the wonderful people in Washington, DC want to keep their streets clear so their limos can get to those fun parties, like the correspondents’ dinner. You can help them out! Just take one of these free Obama Phones, and they can shovel up some of that money and send it to Carlos Slim (the world’s richest man, and a big Obama donor).
Isn’t it wonderful living in America, where anybody can get a free cell phone, and nobody has to pay for it? We get free food stamps and free Obama Care. I can’t wait until the Obama Cars program starts up and we all get free cars!
Our friends in Washington, DC, like Barack, and Boehner, and Pelosi and Reid promise they will give us Americans free stuff as long as we vote for them. And they will even give free stuff to people who are not Americans as long as they vote for them too! How cool is that!
Boy, have we got it good, or what?
Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side