Maybe It’s Time To Retire My Obama Phone

obamaphoneI have had some fun over the past several years at President Obama’s expense.

Those of you who have rocked with me for a while remember that several years ago I applied for, and received, an “Obama Phone” – a free cell phone, with 250 free minutes and unlimited texts.  I only got my free phone to prove that anybody can get one, and to show how ridiculous and unmanaged the whole program is.  My application, and my renewals, have been completely honest – no mis-stating income or anything.  Now, I’m not going to lie to you.  We live a pretty fine Southern lifestyle here on the lake.  But I still qualified for a free phone, and I contend that anybody who asks for a taxpayer-subsidized ObamaPhone will receive one too.

President Obama didn’t actually start the free cell phone program.  It debuted under President GW Bush and his Congress as a well-intended but soon-corrupted “LifeLine” benefit for us poor folks, funded by a tax on the cell phone bills of all you rich folks.  During the free-stuff-for-everybody Obama years, the profiteering cell phone providers, led by Mexican kingpin Carlos Slim, really got with the program.  Soon it was Party Central, and people were dancing and singing and selling free ObamaPhones all over the place.

Here’s a fun exercise:  type “Obama Phone” into any search engine.  Go ahead, try it!  Up pops a whole bunch of “providers” who are more than happy to set you up for a free cell phone, courtesy of the taxpayers.  The really cool one is ObamaPhone.com.    Here’s part of their sales pitch:

Millions of Americans have been economically devastated by the economic meltdown, by the deep recession that followed it, and by the nation’s ongoing economic struggles. Many of those needy Americans have reached the point where they consider a telephone a luxury that they cannot afford.

The Obama Phone program (also known as Lifeline Assistance) can lift that burden. More than 20 million Americans have already received a free Obama Phone and get 250 free cell phone minutes every month.

I was so grateful for my free phone that I made my own little musical thank you message to my friend Barack.  The phone was free, but even though I was a Tea Party guy, he still sent me an email asking me for five dollars every day.

Well, now that President Obama is about to retire, maybe it’s time for me to retire my ObamaPhone too.

Which raises the question:  Will Trump and the Republican House and Senate finally put an end to this stupid-ass, corrupt entitlement program once and for all?  Or will we all be carrying Trump-a-Phones for the next eight years?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

 

My Best Friend, Barack, Would Like You To Have A Free Cell Phone Too!

As you know, my friend Barack gave me a free cell phone a while back.

Hillary-Clinton-What-Difference-Does-It-MakeI don’t use it, but I still have it just in case I need to call Hillary and ask her who wrote Susan Rice’s make-believe talking points about the Benghazi attack.  You know, after seven committee investigations, they still haven’t got around to answering that simple question.

IRS-sOr I might need it to ask Speaker John Boehner why he doesn’t think Susan Lerner needs to explain how so many Tea Party groups and their contributors got singled out for “special treatment” by the IRS.

I probflotus_mugshot_four_by_three_s640x480ably should use my Obama Phone to call my friend Barack’s wife, Michelle.  I have been meaning to ask her how many of the Nigerian girls were released by the terrorists after she “selfied” her hashtag #BringBackOurGirls.

Anyway, it looks like the Obama Phone (Lifeline Assistance) program is still going full speed ahead.  I got a letter the other day asking me if I have any friends or relatives who might need a free cell phone.  It says:

Dear Tom:  (I was kind of surprised they used my name — Barack always calls me “Friend”)   We hope you are benefiting from your (free phone).  Now you can help others benefit too, by spreading the word to your family and friends!  If eligible, they can also apply for Lifeline Assistance and get a FREE phone with 250 FREE voice minutes each month and 250 FREE texts each month.  Voicemail, call waiting and caller ID included!

We’ve enclosed two applications for you to share with family and friends who live at a different address.  If you need more applications, please ask your family and friends to visit (our website) or call (our number).

Since you are my friends and family, I thought I had better let you know that our government would just love to give away more free cell phones.  You know, they are printing all that money at the Federal Reserve, and it just keeps piling up and getting in the way.  My friend Barack and all of the wonderful people in Washington, DC want to keep their streets clear so their limos can get to those fun parties, like the correspondents’ dinnercarlos_slim_widens_lead_as_worlds_richest_manYou can help them out!  Just take one of these free Obama Phones, and they can shovel up some of that money and send it to Carlos Slim (the world’s richest man, and a big Obama donor).

Isn’t it wonderful living in America, where anybody can get a free cell phone, and nobody has to pay for it?  We get free food stamps and free Obama Care.  I can’t wait until the Obama Cars program starts up and we all get free cars!

pelosi-boehner-obama-reid-gettyp.600x400Our friends in Washington, DC, like Barack, and Boehner, and Pelosi and Reid promise they will give us Americans free stuff as long as we vote for them.  And they will even give free stuff to people who are not Americans as long as they vote for them too!  How cool is that!

Boy, have we got it good, or what?

 

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

 

 People let me tell ya ’bout my best friend!