Once he was the strongest man in the world, respected and relied upon by the hungry and oppressed. Now he is an old man, weak and frail, with medical problems too numerous and serious to list.

In recent years, Uncle Sam’s immune system has broken down to the point of total failure. It is now unable to prevent alien organisms from invading his body at will, to the extent that Sam’s appearance has even changed. He no longer resembles the man he once was.

Once the strongest man in the world, Uncle Sam is now a sissy, preferring girl’s clothing and makeup to the fit athleticism and bold, masculine confidence of his youth. He is now the favorite target of bullies, who no longer hesitate to take his lunch money.

Most distressing of all, poor old Uncle Sam suffers dementia. He thinks anyone can choose and change their genders, and that deviant sex, even for kids, is a good thing. He believes he can spend unlimited amounts of money without ever running out. He even thinks that national elections will be perfectly administered even if there are no rules. His brain is so addled that it seems nothing is too preposterous for him to believe.

Not so long ago Uncle Sam was clear-eyed, honest, devout and dedicated to the protection of his family. How much longer can he withstand the ravages of the diseases his current caregivers have foisted upon him?

I’m afraid the only thing that will save Uncle Sam is a new doctor.

Tom Balek, Rockin’ On the Right Side