I pulled out of the Costco parking lot in Helena and stopped at the stoplight.
“Geez,” I exclaimed to my wife. “Look at all the painted lines through this intersection.” Cars whizzed by left and right as we waited out the light, blinking and screeching and zooming through at the last second, or even a little late. It was barely-organized chaos. I looked to my left, and there was a narrow lane with a bicycle icon – RUNNING RIGHT THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF A SIX-BY-SIX LANE BUSY INTERSECTION.
I was startled. I tried to picture riding a bike through that mess. Heck, driving a car through there is practically suicidal. What kind of moron would take that chance on a bike? For that matter, what kind of moron designed the bike lane? And how many days of the year can you ride a bike in Helena, anyway?
Welcome to the crazy world of AGENDA 21, under the innocuous title “Complete Streets”. It has taken root in most cities in Montana and across the country.
While you were asleep, or watching football, or shopping, your city leaders were feverishly studying the Agenda 21 and ICLEI guidelines set out by the United Nations and a worldwide network of socialists. They don’t really know why they are doing this, but they have to keep the promises they made in exchange for a couple thousand bucks from George Soros.
Agenda 21 is a very ambitious and complicated plan. Think “We Can Change the World”. The main goal is “social justice”, where rich nations give their money to poor nations:
All states and all people shall cooperate in the essential task of eradicating poverty as an indispensable requirement for sustainable development, in order to decrease the disparities in standards of living and better meet the needs of the majority of the people of the world. – (Agenda 21 – Principle 5)
In order to make more of our wealth available to transfer to the poor nations, we rich nations need to cut back on extravagances, like driving around in cars. That’s where “Complete Streets” comes in. If we ride bikes instead of driving cars, then we will have left-over money to send to the Congo so they can drive cars. Plus, we will create less pollution, so that all the new cars in China won’t need expensive smog controls.
As a Montanan, it’s hard for me to understand the merits of these crazy bike lanes. So I put on my Socialist Cap and tried thinking “globally.”
I considered that if more bike riders are killed, it reduces the pressure humans are putting on Mother Earth. Yeah, that’s it! That’s why we need bike lanes!
But wait, that would reduce the number of Democrat voters. Hmmm.
I’ll have to think about this some more.
Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side
There’s too many ahead of me
They’re all tryin’ to get in front of me
I thought I could find a clear road ahead
But I found stoplights instead
Expressway To Your Heart – the Soul Survivors
Rockin' On The Right Side 
Reblogged this on Inspirational Photography.
I love my bike lanes! Especially her in Tucson which is very biker friendly. But I can’t believe all the extra asphault that it takes can possible help create a smaller carbon footprint. Most of the people that I see biking in Tucson bike for recreation and exercise- which is fine- but do taxpayers really need to foot that expense? If it’s a local decision to improve quality of life that makes more sense than the environmental arguement. I am not riding my car any less. In fact, sometimes I drive across town with my bike in the trunk just so I can ride another route.
You were in the neighborhood and didn’t give me a shout out?!?!?!? I’ll buy the first round!
Next time we will take you up on that – we’ll have a drink AFTER we negotiate through the bike lanes!
That takes all the fun out of trying to hit ’em.
Do give me a heads up when next you come to the Peoples’ Republic :-).