Lifeline program | Tom Balek - Rockin' On The Right Side

obamaphone I have had some fun over the past several years at President Obama’s expense.

Those of you who have rocked with me for a while remember that several years ago I applied for, and received, an “Obama Phone” – a free cell phone, with 250 free minutes and unlimited texts. I only got my free phone to prove that anybody can get one, and to show how ridiculous and unmanaged the whole program is. My application, and my renewals, have been completely honest – no mis-stating income or anything. Now, I’m not going to lie to you. We live a pretty fine Southern lifestyle here on the lake. But I still qualified for a free phone, and I contend that anybody who asks for a taxpayer-subsidized ObamaPhone will receive one too.

President Obama didn’t actually start the free cell phone program. It debuted under President GW Bush and his Congress as a well-intended but soon-corrupted “LifeLine” benefit for us poor folks, funded by a tax on the cell phone bills of all you rich folks. During the free-stuff-for-everybody Obama years, the profiteering cell phone providers, led by Mexican kingpin Carlos Slim, really got with the program. Soon it was Party Central, and people were dancing and singing and selling free ObamaPhones all over the place.

Here’s a fun exercise: type “Obama Phone” into any search engine. Go ahead, try it! Up pops a whole bunch of “providers” who are more than happy to set you up for a free cell phone, courtesy of the taxpayers. The really cool one is ObamaPhone.com. Here’s part of their sales pitch:

Millions of Americans have been economically devastated by the economic meltdown, by the deep recession that followed it, and by the nation’s ongoing economic struggles. Many of those needy Americans have reached the point where they consider a telephone a luxury that they cannot afford.

The Obama Phone program (also known as Lifeline Assistance) can lift that burden. More than 20 million Americans have already received a free Obama Phone and get 250 free cell phone minutes every month.

I was so grateful for my free phone that I made my own little musical thank you message to my friend Barack. The phone was free, but even though I was a Tea Party guy, he still sent me an email asking me for five dollars every day.

Well, now that President Obama is about to retire, maybe it’s time for me to retire my ObamaPhone too.

Which raises the question: Will Trump and the Republican House and Senate finally put an end to this stupid-ass, corrupt entitlement program once and for all? Or will we all be carrying Trump-a-Phones for the next eight years?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

cell_phones Update 8/7/13: Some of you are wondering how I ordered my Obama Phone when Assurance Wireless does not offer the program in Montana. I am currently in North Carolina, but I still have a home in Montana. I ordered my Obama Phone from Charlotte – I’ll let you know when/if I receive it. By the way, I ordered this just to prove a point, not to take advantage of you taxpayers!

Why are you paying for a cell phone? Don’t you know that you can get as many cell phones as you want, for free?

Of course we all know that nothing is really free, somebody has to pay for everything, but hey — my friend Barack was re-elected in 2012 because he says it doesn’t matter how much our government spends. Most Republicans are hiding under their desks in Washington, DC, so it is pretty clear that what we buy or how much debt we have doesn’t matter. Our buds at the IRS can just tax other people some more, and if we run out we’ll have our friends at the Fed print as much money as we need, right? Free is good! Get what you can! We’re all Democrats now!

Jillian Kay Melchior of the National Review heard that people in her city routinely obtain for free — and then sell — dozens of “Obama Phones”, courtesy of the taxpayers. She set out to see if it is really that easy to get free Obama Phones. Jillian learned that under Obama’s “Lifeline” program, pretty much anybody who signs up can receive one or more free Obama Phones from one or more cell phone vendors who aggressively seek out participants. There is little, if any, verification of eligibility. Commissioned phone salesmen give away as many as possible and the taxpayers pick up the tab. Jillian got three free Obama Phones without even really trying.

So this morning I web-searched “Obama Phone”, and here is the number one listing:

ObamaPhone

I filled out the Assurance Wireless on-line application, providing my name and address, and indicating that I would prefer to communicate in English rather than Spanish. I checked a couple of boxes, answering with complete honesty, and then printed and mailed my application. Can’t wait to get my new free Obama Phone, along with 250 minutes and 250 text messages per month, forever! What a deal! It should be here in a week or so, I’ll give you a call when I get it.

I do feel a little bit guilty, knowing that you taxpayers will pay over $2.4 billion for phones for me and Barack’s other friends this year. You know, I still get an e-mail from Barack or someone in his office every day asking for $5. Here’s the one I got today:

Obama Letter

I should probably send Barack a five-spot today, as a thank-you for the cool phone. Happy Birthday, buddy! What a guy. Why would I vote for anyone else?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

No more lonely nights
Will you be alone
All you got to do is
Pick up your telephone
And dial, now
634-5789 (What’s my number)

634-5789 – the Blues Brothers