HEADLINES: 4/28/2018

Posted on by Standard Reply

Headlines from Al Jazeera BigSky –
Montana’s Number One News Source –
April 28, 2018:

    • PRESIDENT CLINTON DEFENDS “AMCARE” – President Hillary Clinton, speaking at the annual BFD (Brotherhood of Federal Doctors) union convention, defended “AmCare”, the one-year old nationalized health care system.  Fending off complaints about the elimination of heart surgery units and cancer clinics, President Clinton said, “If we had not cut off services for citizens over the age of 60, we would not be able to provide care for our 180 million underprivileged and unemployed new immigrants.”  Clinton won a landslide victory in November 2016, with 99.6% support from minority and immigrant voters, who swelled the polls after the Supreme Court ruled that requiring voters to register is unconstitutional.


    • BIKE LANES TO REPLACE MOST HIGHWAYS BY JULY –  Transportation Reduction Czar Al Gore announced yesterday the Dept. of Transportation Reduction will seize control of all U.S. bike manufacturing companies this summer, and will begin providing free bicycles for public use at all AmTrak locations.  Since fossil fuel use was banned, concerns have mounted that only the wealthiest Americans and government employees will be able to travel more than a mile from their homes.  The planned expansion of AmTrak electric train service has been stalled due to the inability to get repair parts transported to the many windmills which have become inoperative.  Gore, in a bold move, plans to convert unused highways across the country for bicycle use.  “In fulfillment of our United Nations Agenda 21 commitment to  ICLEI years ago, we will soon be a totally carbon-free nation,”  Gore said.

 

    • BRAZIL PLEDGES FOOD AID TO U.S. –  With 73% of Americans receiving food vouchers from the federal government, and farm production cut by two-thirds due to the fossil fuel ban, the food shortage in the United States has reached crisis pitch.  A coalition of South American nations, basking in their newfound wealth from development of liquefied natural gas and off-shore oil drilling, have offered to subsidize President Hillary Clinton’s AmFood program on humanitarian grounds, but only if austerity measures are put in place.  Vice-president Brian Schweitzer has been charged with heading up a task force to determine how food resources can be fairly distributed, and will provide his findings to the Food Utilization (FU) board this fall.

 

    • EDUCATION CZAR ACCUSED OF HUNTING – Al Franken, director of AmTeach, the federal education system, is under investigation by the DUH (Dept. of Urban Helplessness) after it was revealed that Franken owns a cabin hidden deep in the mountains of Montana.  Accused of possessing a gun and shooting wild game for food during the 8-month government holiday recess, Franken said, “I was just doing research.”

 

    • BLOGGER DEFIES MANDATORY RETIREMENT – Blogger Tom Balek, a long-time critic of the expansion of government and defender of the Constitution, vowed to continue his work, despite having long passed the mandatory bloggers’ retirement age of 50.  “People ask me why, at age 64, I’m still blogging,” Balek said in a recent interview.  “It’s the money, man.  I just can’t resist making all that money.”

 



Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
Will you still need me?
Will you still feed me?
When I’m sixty-four?

When I’m Sixty-Four – the Beatles

Watch my favorite guitar player – Tommy Emmanuel from Australia – AMAZING!

Obama Regime Kicks Max Baucus Under the Bus

Posted on by Standard 3

Max BaucusI would bet that most of you who Rock with me On the Right Side probably are not on the President’s mailing list.  I am.

Call it espionage, if you must.  Actually, I just find the way the Obama regime manipulates its subjects so entertaining.

Today the administration is blasting Max Baucus for finally – finally – representing his Montana constituents.   And as they almost always do, they lied to their gullible subscribers without shame.  Here’s the e-mail they sent me:

Friend —

Senator Max Baucus is hoping you weren’t paying attention.

Last week, he was one of 45 senators who decided to stand with the gun lobby, blocking a bill to expand background checks — a measure that 79% of Montanans support.

OFA supporters across the country are holding their senators accountable — today, Senator Baucus needs to hear directly from the people who sent him to Washington. One simple, very public way of doing that is to get on Twitter.

Tweet @MaxBaucus now:

We have your senator’s Twitter handle and a sample tweet ready to go, but feel free to make it your own. As long as Senator Baucus hears from you today, that’s what counts. And believe me, the senator and his staff are watching their Twitter accounts pretty closely.

The reality is, keeping guns out of the hands of criminals and the mentally unstable should be a no-brainer. It’s overwhelmingly popular. Senator Baucus could have easily stood up to the gun lobby and said, “I have to do what my constituents sent me here to do.”

Instead, he caved and we took a step backward in the fight to prevent gun violence.

Whenever this happens — whenever Congress chooses to cater to special interests at the expense of the common good — OFA is going to hold them accountable in a very public way.

It’s why we’re here.

After years of selling out to the big political contributors who got him re-elected six times, Baucus finally grew a spine.  He admitted that the Obamacare program he co-sponsored is “a train wreck”.  He voted against the Democrats embarrassingly bloated budget, saying it raised spending too much.  He stood up to the over-reaching gun control extremists – and by the way, if you believe 79% of Montanans support gun control, you have never whiffed one breath of Big Sky air.

The left is on him like magpies on a road-killed whitetail.  Washington Post: “Baucus Retires, A Grateful Nation Cheers”.  The Daily Beast: “Good Riddance, Max Baucus”.  And, of course, the divider-in-chief, through his puppets, grabs his smelly bite of scavenged meat, booting his once-faithful comrade to the curb with snarling contempt.  Stay classy, Mr. President.

Announcing his retirement, Baucus said in an AP interview, “I don’t want to die here with my boots on. There is life beyond Congress.”  I think it’s kind of cool that he finally bought a pair of boots.  He hadn’t seen Montana for so long, I doubt he knows which one goes on which foot.

One of the last letters I wrote Senator Baucus was a promise.  I told him that if he continued to push for ObamaCare I would do everything in my power to see that he would never be elected again.  We both lost.  ObamaCare became law, and Max will never be elected again.

I guess Montana lost twice, though.  Here comes Brian Schweitzer.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man
To be the sad man behind blue eyes.
No one knows what it’s like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

But my dreams they aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that’s never free

Behind Blue Eyes – the Who
with rare footage – Keith Moon Speaks!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot!

Posted on by Standard 7

school_paddleSeventh grade at Paris Gibson Junior High School in Great Falls, Montana, 1966.  Compared to schools today, it was an alien world.

At Paris Gibson, all seventh grade boys were required to take wood shop class.  We actually didn’t do much in wood shop.  I think we sanded a stick of wood or something.  The wood shop was not there for teaching an employable skill.  No, the sole purpose for our wood shop – and our shop teacher – was to make paddles.

In the boys’ bathroom we exchanged rumors about which of the male teachers had the biggest, baddest custom paddle.  Mr. Anderson’s paddle has a three-foot long handle, like a baseball bat!  And Mr. Jones, the science teacher, had holes drilled in his paddle so there would be less air resistance and a faster swat.

I found myself on the receiving end of Mr. Jones’ paddle one afternoon.  Convicted of accepting a note during class from the girl in the seat behind me, I bravely marched to the principal’s office to receive my penance.  It didn’t surprise me that the girl who passed me the note didn’t get a swat.  In those days before women’s liberation there was a clear double standard.  But I was surprised and relieved to find that Old Jonesy’s paddle did not, in fact, have aerodynamic holes.

Just the same, it made a heck of a pop on my backside and cured me of any rule-bending intentions for the rest of the school year.

How times have changed.

Junior high teachers no long paddle the rear ends of miscreant boys.  They do, however, frequently engage in sex with them – here are a few hundred examples. 

Today’s teachers are not allowed to raise their voices.  Instead, they are required to ask how it made the aggressor feel when he hurt that other student’s feelings.  Then the school psychologist orders up another prescription for Ritalin.

Memorization of historical milestones, math drills, and epic literature are now old-school.  Today’s Common Core students engage in group-think, anti-bullying crusades, environmental activism, and support for gays and lesbians.  They learn that conflict and questioning authority are abnormal and will not be tolerated.  Competition is okay, but only on the football field (just one kid gets to be quarterback, but every student is on the honor roll.)  Ingesting and retaining facts no longer matters; what counts is how well you get along with others.  How compliant you are.  Everyone should be the same:  Dull.  Nice.  Helpless.

They grow up perfectly happy to “spread the wealth around.”  They refrain from being judgmental, because the only virtue is tolerance.  Pregnant junior high girls are held in high esteem for their bravery.  Christmas is now “Winter Holiday”.

Back at Paris Gibson Junior High, you could pretty much tell who was headed for success and leadership.  They were usually the ones in the principal’s office getting a swat.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

You come on with a come on, you don’t fight fair
But that’s O.K., see if I care!
Knock me down, it’s all in vain
I’ll get right back on my feet again!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar

Smokin’ Hot Pat Benatar Rockin’ It!

The New ‘Immigration Reform’ – It’s A Mistake!

Posted on by Standard Reply

Mexican WalmartWhile living in Montana for many years my opinions about illegal immigration were based on what I heard in the media.  Montana doesn’t have an illegal immigrant problem.  I saw the growing numbers of Mexicans and Central Americans when visiting western cities like Denver, Las Vegas, and Salt Lake City, but still didn’t have any first-hand experience.

For the last few months I have been traveling full-time throughout the Southeast, based in Charlotte, and have gained some perspective on the issue.

Shortly after arriving here, I was shopping at a WalMart store and was struck by how many people were speaking Spanish.  It seemed at times like I was the only English-speaking white guy around.  I don’t know what proportion of these immigrants are illegal – some may be here on current visas.   But it is likely that a good number of them either crossed the border illegally or were born to someone who did.

These foreigners have money to spend.  And that is the centerpoint of my curiosity and interest.

The media paints us conservatives as racists, bigots and homophobes who have no tolerance for people who don’t look and speak like us.  There are a few who fit that mold, but I think most are like me – concerned about the fiscal integrity of our nation and worried about the economic futures of our children.

Does it bother me that there are so many foreigners in the frozen foods aisle?  Not in the least.  I find them to be friendly, hard-working family people.  What bothers me is that laws exist to protect U.S. citizens, and it is clear that a lot of law-breaking is being tolerated – even encouraged – to a greater degree every day.  What is the economic impact?

I have a soft spot for anyone who works hard and takes care of his family.  So when Hector came into my store a few days ago to buy a $6,000 dump trailer, I enjoyed learning about his roofing business.  He had two of his ten employees with him, and they spoke no English.  We had earlier outfitted his shiny new Ford truck with expensive accessories and this was the fifth trailer he had bought from us in a year.

When it came time to pay the bill, Hector, as always, pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills that would choke a horse.  The sixty C-notes he peeled off to pay for his trailer barely made a dent.  It made me wonder if the two guys with him were actually bodyguards.

Hector has built a great business and is making a lot of money.  We need entrepreneurs in the United States, right?

Not like Hector.

He is obviously not paying taxes – his wealthy customers pay him in cash because he charges less than his native-born, honest, tax-paying competitors. He is not paying workers comp, or unemployment, or insurance bills.  He does not provide health care for his employees.  Hector pays his men minimum wage or less –  they have to work for low wages because any legitimate business would be in big trouble if they hired illegal workers.  But it works out because they receive all kinds of government benefits, including food stamps, medical care, subsidized housing and education for their children.

Hector is doing great.  So is his family.  And his employees are much better off here – they buzz the aisles at WalMart, chattering in Spanish with big smiles on their faces.

At the same time more and more of our own under-educated citizens have given up on work.  They are encouraged to stay home and collect welfare, plus the same food stamps, free medical care, subsidized housing and education for their children that Hector’s employees get – all paid for with money either borrowed from the Chinese or printed out of thin air.  American entrepreneurs who would start businesses as tradesmen and employ other Americans are beset with regulations, taxes, fees, and red tape.

Our political leaders continue to claim that we need illegal immigrants to do the work that “Americans won’t do.”   Even Republicans in the nation’s capital are beginning to embrace amnesty and “immigration reform”, totally abandoning the laws that were created to protect U.S. citizens and our standard of living.

It’s a serious mistake.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

We’ll not fade out too soon, not in this finest hour
Whistle your favourite tune, we’ll send a card and flower
Saying it’s a mistake.  It’s a mistake!

It’s A Mistake – Men At Work

It’s Only Words

Posted on by Standard 1

What they say to the public and the media:

WASHINGTON (AP) Nov. 7, 2012 – President Barack Obama is sounding a conciliatory tone after his re-election victory, saying he has learned from those who supported him and those who opposed him. And he says he returns to Washington “more determined” and “more inspired.”

He said he’s hoping to work with Republicans to solve the nation’s problems.

What they say to each other and their supporters (I am on the President’s mailing list and received this e-mail today):

organizing for action

Friend –I want to make one thing absolutely clear:

We’re up against a whole lot more than just opposition in Congress.

We’re up against interest groups with money to burn — organizations willing to drop every last penny they have to stop President Obama’s agenda in its tracks. We’re already seeing it on gun violence, and immigration reform — they’re going to spend millions to throw a wrench in the works of progress.

You can be damned sure that this is not going to stop.

Organizing for Action is going to shift the balance of power in Washington back to real people. People like you have shown over and over again that no amount of spending can stop millions of Americans calling for change.

It’s going to take each of us rolling up our sleeves, getting to work, and chipping in what we can when we can.

We have our first fundraising deadline this weekend. Donate $5 or more right now to become a founding member of this organization: https://donate.barackobama.com/First-Deadline

This is going to be fun. If we do this right, the other side won’t know what hit ’em.
Jim Messina, Chair – Organizing for Action

They have no intention of cooperating or “reaching across the aisle”.  “The other side won’t know what hit ’em”, says Messina.  They think it’s fun.  It’s not about the future of the country. It’s not about school safety.   It’s not about immigration reform.  This is a game to them.

God help us.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

You think that I don’t even mean
A single word I say
It’s only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away

Words – the Bee Gees

Yesterday’s News

Posted on by Standard 2

newsOne year ago the news media fixated on a single story for several weeks.  It was so terribly important that it superceded everything else that was going on in the world.  It was as if nothing else mattered – this story was so critical to the life and welfare of every American that there was no room for any other news.   Even President Obama had to take time from his schedule to express his concern and thoughts about the topic.

Don’t remember?  Does the name Trayvon Martin ring a bell?

What have you heard about him lately?  Do you know how the case turned out?  Has anything changed in our lives because of the Florida incident in which Martin, a neighborhood watch volunteer, followed a young man he thought was suspicious, and ended up shooting him in a scuffle?

My point is this:  our news industry has devolved to the point where they now pick a salacious and often irrelevant or marginal news story and  elevate it to crisis pitch, while ignoring everything else that happens worldwide.   If the Trayvon Martin case was so earth-shakingly important, why have you not heard anything about it for a year?

Whatever happened to the Occupy Wall Street crowd?  Our media elites climbed all over each other to recount every syllable uttered by a tiny group of incoherent losers, affording them status on par with world leaders and history-makers.  Where are they now?  What happened?  Is it possible that MAYBE THEY WEREN’T NEWSWORTHY IN THE FIRST PLACE?

The media was quick to report that the Tea Party is dead.  It isn’t.  But the Occupy Movement sure as hell is.  Who is reporting on that?

Remember all the hoo-hah about ObamaCare?  We would all die if it was implemented.   Or we would all die if it was NOT implemented.  Either way, we were all going to die.  Three years later, not much has happened.

Michael Jackson.  Lady Diana.  Stories about pop culture icons deserve a headline, not an entire page of the calendar.

It’s a sad fact that the news business has become so much more business than news.  Rather than reporting actual news and letting the informed public determine what is important to them, the media now chooses the story it feels has the most commercial potential and milks it to the bloody end.

So when you see today’s front-page bold-type stop-the-presses big story, don’t get your underwear in a knot.  There’s a good chance it will be completely forgotten a year from now.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

Who wants yesterday’s papers?
Who wants yesterday’s girl?
Who wants yesterday’s papers?
Nobody in the world!

Yesterday’s Papers – the Rolling Stones

Change – Be Careful What You Wish For

Posted on by Standard 1

obama_change_01I had an interesting conversation with a liberal this week – a junior manager who works very hard, earns a modest salary, and would like to improve his family’s standard of living.

Our business conversation had turned to the hesitancy on the part of business owners to invest.  “No one is willing to pull the trigger on any major spending in the current political climate,” I said.

My friend asked, “What does politics have to do with whether or not a business owner wants to invest?”

I pointed out that politics and economics are inseparable.  After all, the only thing a government can do is spend other people’s money.  Everything the government does affects the economic environment, and conversely, voters and supporters of candidates make decisions based on their own current financial situations.  Business owners are not confident right now that risking additional capital will provide them with any financial reward.

“Well I have always been a liberal,” my friend said.  “And I agree with you, nobody wants to spend for anything right now.”

I let him talk.

“Nobody wants to upgrade their facilities or hire more employees.  They just don’t know if customers will be able to afford to buy their products.”

I nodded.  Keep thinking, young man.

“You know,” he continued, “wages sure aren’t what they used to be – if you can find a job at all.  People can’t afford to buy houses and cars and other things because they just aren’t making enough money.”

He was on a roll.

“If nobody can afford to buy things, why would you want to build a new store or hire more people?” he concluded. “Times are tough.”

I wanted so badly to deliver my speech about how government waste, corruption and misguided overspending takes a huge bite out of our GDP and personal wealth.  About how government social policies discourage savings and personal responsibility.  About how federal fiscal policy has devalued our dollar, destroyed our balance of trade and built an insurmountable debt.  About how we have become a nation of undereducated, disengaged sheeple, victim to any media-savvy, slick-talking promiser-in-chief.

I wanted to ask, “So why are you a liberal?”  Instead, I shook my head and said, “Gee, I wonder what has changed?”

He didn’t answer.  But the concerned look on his face told me he knew.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet

Changes – David Bowie

It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! No, It’s a Drone.

Posted on by Standard Reply

p51mustangFlashback: 1995, Manhattan, Kansas.  I had just bought a home near Lake Tuttle and was out on my first Saturday motorbike cruise to check out the neighborhood.  Down the road a few miles I came upon a large, open field and a cluster of men looking skyward in intense concentration.

I stopped to see what was going on.  It was the local radio-controlled aircraft club, passionately engaged in their hobby on a beautiful, blue-sky Kansas afternoon.  Their airplanes and helicopters were meticulously fabricated and painted – most were replicas of famous propeller-driven war-planes.  The craftsmanship required to build and maintain such machines is only exceeded by the dexterity it takes to get and keep one aloft and under control.  These guys were way beyond that, and I was mesmerized watching them guide their craft through acrobatic spins, dives, tricks, and mock battles.  Takeoffs and landings were precise, if abrupt.   Given the cost of these birds and the hours of work invested, crashes are uncommon.

Funny how we miss events and trends that ultimately have a huge impact.  It never occurred to me on that prairie afternoon that this hobby would rapidly evolve into a multi-billion dollar industry, a constitutional crisis, and a sea-change in military and security strategy.

DroneToday we call them drones, and as we speak you may have one quietly buzzing over your head, perhaps observing you.

Our armed forces were quick to take advantage of drone technology – at first for reconnaissance, but soon after for actual combat missions.   The use of machines to reduce risks to our soldiers won wide-spread support from political leaders and citizens alike.  But as their use proliferated the ethical line in the sand seemed to move.

Americans were pleased to learn that Osama Bin Laden’s right-hand man, Ayman al Zawahiri, was one of many Al Qaeda bad-asses sent to meet their maker by Predator drones in recent months.  But concerns mounted when a drone strike killed American-born terrorist Anwar al-Awlaki and three other Al Qaeda leaders in Yemen, and a few days later, another drone took out al-Awlaki’s 16-year old Denver-born son, who, according to his family, was not a terrorist.

“To kill a teenager is just unbelievable, really, and they claim that he is an al-Qaeda militant. It’s nonsense,” said Nasser al-Awlaki, a former Yemeni agriculture minister who was Anwar al-Awlaki’s father and the boy’s grandfather, speaking in a phone interview from Sanaa on Monday. “They want to justify his killing, that’s all.” (quote from the Washington Post)

Senator Rand Paul takes the Constitution seriously, and literally.  He filibustered the Senate for 13 hours last week to challenge the authority of President Obama – or any American, for that matter – to assassinate another American without due process.  “The ‘drone debate’ isn’t over,” Paul declared.  “I wanted everybody to know that our Constitution is precious and no American should be killed by a drone without first being charged with a crime.”

The market for military drones will reach $90 billion over the next ten years, according to the Teal Group.  And applications for use in the private sector, as well as domestic law enforcement, are only starting to heat up.

Watching those pretty toy planes maneuvering above the Kansas prairie almost twenty years ago, I didn’t see the huge future implications.  It makes me wonder what else I’m missing as I observe ordinary life today.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right SideA shout out to the Vietnam vets –

Sky pilot
Sky pilot
How high can you fly
You’ll never, never, never reach the sky

Sky Pilot – Eric Burdon

If I Had a Million Dollars, I’d Live Like a Retired Govt. Worker

Posted on by Standard 9

Richie_Rich_comic_No_1As a kid I thought it must really be something to be a millionaire.  We read “Richie Rich” comic books and imagined how cool it would be to live in a mansion, with servants and cooks and an indoor swimming pool.

Of course, it was the impossible dream.  Only a rare few Americans could ever be that rich, and they were born to wealthy families.  Still, back then, life was good for most Americans.  Dads went to work, paid the bills, bought modest homes and Chevies, and took the family on a summer road trip to Mount Rushmore.  Moms stayed home, raised the 2.1 kids, attended PTA meetings, and always had a hot, healthy meal ready when Dad came home from work.

What happened?

A million bucks sure isn’t what it used to be.  With CDs paying maybe 1% interest at best, those who worked hard and saved a million dollars can now look forward to a retirement income of – wow – $10,000 a year.  Add that to social security income, of course, but still.   No indoor swimming pool.  No servants.

And it’s not like there are other investment opportunities for retirees.   The only guys making money in the stock market are the hedge fund operators and the machine traders buying and selling at the speed of light.  Municipal bonds pay a couple percent and are tax free – oh that’s right, most city and county governments are bankrupt.

There is one group of really wealthy American retirees.   Retired unionized government workers get guaranteed pensions.  Most receive over $60,000 per year.  There are many government employees who toiled for 25 or 30 hard years, sometimes even working over 35 hours per week behind a hard, cold desk with only 7 weeks of vacation and 15 holidays off each year.  Poor souls, at retirement they must make do with $100k per year plus full medical benefits.

Do the math.  In order to pay a retired teacher $60k per year, we American taxpayers are putting up $6 million at 1% interest.  The retired county engineer who receives a $100k pension requires a taxpayer investment of $10 million to fund his checks.

In an economy where many moms and dads both work long hours and are barely able to feed their families, let alone save anything for retirement, it’s hard to feel sorry for government employees who will retire with multi-million dollar nest eggs.

When I see a headline like this:

Obama Sequester Speech: Republicans Are Putting Economy At Risk To Help The Wealthy

I shake my head in amazement at the level of deceit our President and his followers continue to get away with.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
We’d take a limousine cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner

If I Had A Million Dollars – Barenaked Ladies

The Left Knows What Men Want – Dumb Blondes and Bison

Posted on by Standard 1

meghan kellyToday, while waiting for a haircut at a local “clip joint”, I looked for a magazine to pass the time.  Of the 50 or so in the rack, I found only one that was not written for women.  I admit I was tempted to open one of the ladies’ rags to find out “What Men Really Want”, as promised on the cover.  Not that I care about other men, mind you – I just wanted to see if the editors got it right.  But my old-school inhibitions kicked in, and I reached for the men’s magazine instead.

It was called “Men’s Something or Other” – I had never seen or heard of it before.  The titles on the cover left no doubt that the editors knew exactly what would catch the eye of any reader under the influence of testosterone.   Like, “The Sexy Blondes at Fox News”.

As soon as I opened the cover, I realized something was wrong.  None of the articles resembled the titles.  In fact, each was a left-wing political manifesto, thinly veiled as an article of legitimate interest to men.

The piece about the Fox News women was hilarious.  The writer expressed how aroused “he” is whenever “he” sees “fake blondes” Gretchen Carlson or Meghan Kelly.  “He” fantasizes about sexual encounters with them, sharing with the world how their stupidity makes “him” all the more horny.   The language was reminiscent of seventh grade locker room talk, except when describing the specific political issues that demonstrate how stupid the Fox women really are.

Note the quote marks I placed around “him”.  I inserted them because there’s no way in hell that article was written by a man.  At least not a heterosexual one.  I’m sorry, but no man on earth would admit – repeatedly and enthusiastically – that he experiences physical arousal from watching the news.  Or that the more he politically disagrees with a woman, the more physically aroused he becomes.  Or that he gives a hoot whether a woman’s hair is artificially colored or not.

The article was mercifully short, and with trepidation I thumbed to the next item of primal interest to us manly men – a passionate tome about the “Ten Most Urgent Steps To Stop Global Climate Change.”  Number one was the mission to stop burning coal, followed by the worn-out left-wing checklist: more wind and solar power, eliminate all offshore oil drilling, and ban fracking.

It was item number five that made my jaw drop:

“Place free-roaming bison herds in the CM Russell Wildlife Refuge of Central Montana”.  What the hell does that have to do with Climate Change?  

The hair-person (I sure miss barber shops) called my name and I shuffled to the chair, my mind reeling from all the things that are wrong with this picture.  Was the “men’s” magazine a fake-out, actually written by Valerie Jarrett to subliminally indoctrinate us unsuspecting neanderthals?  Or was it an actual attempt to publish a real men’s magazine by female editors who have never had a date?

Anyway, it again illustrates that there are no “special interest” groups on the left.   All leftists support all leftist causes.  What else could explain the promotion of bison – specifically bison dropped into the CMR of Montana – as a solution to climate change?

Rockin’ On the Right Side – Tom Balek

Rockin' On the Right Side I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I see them looking
I make them want me

I like to tease them
And they want to touch me
I never let them

I Know What Boys Like – the Waitresses

This may be the campiest video ever featured in “Rockin’ On the Right Side” . . .