Category Archives: Corruption

Got My Free Obama Phone Today!

Posted on by Standard 10

Tom Obama PhoneA couple of weeks ago I reported to you Rockers on the Right Side that I was applying for a free Obama Phone.  It came in the mail yesterday!

I ordered the free cell phone to make a point.  Well, maybe several points.

  • Our Federal Government is out of control.  Somebody please show me where in the Constitution it says the federal government must confiscate money from some people and use it to buy gadgets for other people?
  • What about our $17 trillion debt?  How can we afford $2.4 billion for free cell phones and cellular service?  Even while liberals wail that there are starving children all over the country? (the food stamp kids I see are pretty chunky)
  • Free market, my ass!  I’m sure glad I don’t own a cell phone company, having to compete with my own government giving merchandise away.  Well, unless I could be the one getting the $2.4 billion, I guess.
  • This program has nothing to do with helping the “needy”.  It is just one more example of pandering for votes by elected officials — with our money!
  • The feds can’t get anything right.  Although there are guidelines, I have proved that anybody who asks for a free Obama Phone can get one.  I am not needy, I do not even remotely qualify to receive one, and my application was absolutely truthful.  I didn’t even vote for Obama.  But “hoop, there it is!”  And we are supposed to trust these people to take over operation of the entire health care industry?

If your hair isn’t on fire yet, watch this video by Project Veritas:

Oh well, it’s only $2.4 billion.  Not enough money to get the attention of, say, CNN or MSNBC.   Or apparently our legislators in Washington, DC.

Next time you pay your cell phone bill, and cuss about those mysterious additional charges, maybe you want to give your senator or congressman a call.  Or you can call me, any time.  On my Obama Phone!

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

Call me!  On the line!
You can call me, call me any time.
Call me!  I’ll arrive
You can call me any day or night.
Call me!

Call Me – Blondie

Old rockers never die!  Blondie wows a huge audience at Rotterdam, 1997.

ps – I don’t intend to use this phone and abuse you taxpayers / cell phone users.  I just ordered it to prove that they are giving them out to anybody who asks without any scrutiny.

Obama and the Big Piggies

Posted on by Standard Reply

pigs_troughYesterday President Obama made a speech denouncing Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac:

“For too long, these companies were allowed to make huge profits buying mortgages,” Obama said Tuesday, “knowing that if their bets went bad, taxpayers would be left holding the bag . . . It was ‘heads we win, tails you lose.’  And it was wrong.”

Yes, Mr. President, you’re damned right it was wrong.

In 2008 you were at the head of the Freddie/Fannie trough, sucking in a cool $165,000 for your campaign.  In ten years Fannie Mae slopped over $100 million into that trough, quickly gobbled up by corrupt Democrats and Republicans alike. Nobody wanted to blow the whistle, for fear of losing their place at the trough.  “Fannie and Freddie had Congress wrapped around their fingers,” said Guy Cecala, CEO of Inside Mortgage Finance, which publishes trade publications following the mortgage market. “They were untouchable.” (CNN-Money)

The top officials of Freddie / Fannie were caught cooking the books, and to this day the taxpayers are still footing their legal bills.  Meanwhile Fannie’s biggest piggie, James Johnson, took in a cool $100 million in wages over nine years; ridiculous salaries and bonuses flowed throughout both organizations.

Ten years ago the Bush Administration, seeing the looming disaster, tried to step up the oversight and get Freddie and Fannie under control, but failed as Barney Frank and virtually every other pig at the trough circled the wagons to protect their interests.  The Obama administration was sued by Judicial Watch in 2009 for access to records which would prove Congress did nothing for years, even while knowing the extent of the corruption.

The pig sty stench came to a crescendo when the taxpayers were forced to refill the trough with a $200 billion bailout, and that doesn’t begin to contemplate the liabilities still on the Freddie/Fannie books, which the Congressional Research Service estimated at $4 to $5 trillion dollars a couple of years ago.

So, President Obama, and all you other pigs who have gorged at the taxpayer-funded trough for all these years – DON’T YOU DARE act sanctimonious about finally taking baby steps to clean up your stinking pig sty.  You should all be ashamed.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

In their styes with all their backing,
They don’t care what goes on around.
In their eyes there’s something lacking,
What they need’s a damned good whacking!

Piggies – the Beatles

I Ordered My Free Obama Phone Today!

Posted on by Standard 5

cell_phonesUpdate 8/7/13:  Some of you are wondering how I ordered my Obama Phone when Assurance Wireless does not offer the program in Montana.  I am currently in North Carolina, but I still have a home in Montana.  I ordered my Obama Phone from Charlotte – I’ll let you know when/if I receive it.  By the way, I ordered this just to prove a point, not to take advantage of you taxpayers!

 

Why are you paying for a cell phone?  Don’t you know that you can get as many cell phones as you want, for free?

Of course we all know that nothing is really free, somebody has to pay for everything, but hey — my friend Barack was re-elected in 2012 because he says it doesn’t matter how much our government spends.  Most Republicans are hiding under their desks in Washington, DC, so it is pretty clear that what we buy or how much debt we have doesn’t matter.  Our buds at the IRS can just tax other people some more, and if we run out we’ll have our friends at the Fed print as much money as we need, right?  Free is good!  Get what you can!  We’re all Democrats now!

Jillian Kay Melchior of the National Review heard that people in her city routinely obtain for free — and then sell — dozens of “Obama Phones”, courtesy of the taxpayers.  She set out to see if it is really that easy to get free Obama Phones.   Jillian learned that under Obama’s “Lifeline” program, pretty much anybody who signs up can receive one or more free Obama Phones from one or more cell phone vendors who aggressively seek out participants.  There is little, if any, verification of eligibility.  Commissioned phone salesmen give away as many as possible and the taxpayers pick up the tab.  Jillian got three free Obama Phones without even really trying.

So this morning I web-searched “Obama Phone”, and here is the number one listing:

ObamaPhone

I filled out the Assurance Wireless on-line application, providing my name and address, and indicating that I would prefer to communicate in English rather than Spanish.  I checked a couple of boxes, answering with complete honesty, and then printed and mailed my application.   Can’t wait to get my new free Obama Phone, along with 250 minutes and 250 text messages per month, forever!  What a deal!  It should be here in a week or so, I’ll give you a call when I get it.

I do feel a little bit guilty, knowing that you taxpayers will pay over $2.4 billion for phones for me and Barack’s other friends this year.  You know, I still get an e-mail from Barack or someone in his office every day asking for $5.  Here’s the one I got today:

Obama Letter

I should probably send Barack a five-spot today, as a thank-you for the cool phone.   Happy Birthday, buddy!  What a guy.  Why would I vote for anyone else?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

No more lonely nights
Will you be alone
All you got to do is
Pick up your telephone
And dial, now
634-5789 (What’s my number)

634-5789 – the Blues Brothers

Have Liberals Abandoned the “Clinton Standard”?

Posted on by Standard Reply
Image courtesy: Andrew Burton/ Kevin Winter/ Getty Images

Image courtesy: Andrew Burton/ Kevin Winter/ Getty Images

When President Bill Clinton was busted for having oral sex with an intern in the Oval Office, liberals and the mainstream media were mostly okay with it.  Remember the comments like these, printed in the San Francisco Chronicle in 1998?

“We all know the President has done a great job.”

“Call off the vultures.”

“I don’t care if the president is sleeping with a cow!”

“Whether the president had an affair or affairs, whether while president or prior to his becoming president, is of concern only to him and to his family.”

“Before we become obsessed with the legal aspects of the case, we should examine the politics of it, starting with the principles, agendas, motives and supporters of Mr. Starr and the Misses Lewinsky, Tripp and Goldberg. What a gang!”

“Should Clinton be removed from office? No, definitely not!”

“Under his leadership the United States has become strong economically and respectable all over the world.”

“No, President Clinton should not be removed from office. He is entitled to his own personal life and it is not interfering with his job.”

“Who cares about who Clinton is or was sleeping with? I am interested in letting Clinton do the job he was hired to do.”

To this day, Bill Clinton is worshiped by the left, and most Americans either forgot or never knew the details of his impeachment hearings, the rape allegations, and the admitted affairs.  The Lewinsky debacle is common knowledge, but still Clinton is acceptable to liberals, because “he’s our guy.”

So why, now, all the righteous indignation about Democrat Anthony Weiner’s exhibitionist fetish?  The press is on the former congressman and NYC mayoral candidate like piranhas on pepperoni.  Is sending photos of one’s private parts to a dozen or so women worse than rape?  More perverse than getting a “BJ” under the desk while discussing policy on the phone with world leaders?

texas abortion protestIt’s hard to understand the liberal morality.  Cleveland kidnapper Ariel Castro was convicted of “fetal homicide” for punching a pregnant victim until her in utero baby was miscarried.  But abortions are legal in Ohio, and liberals nation-wide are vocal and hostile in defense of their right to kill unborn babies.  Is punching a baby to death somehow worse than “suction aspiration” by which a hollow tube with a knife-edged tip is inserted into the womb and tears the fetus into small pieces?

I guess since laws no longer matter, and the president and courts can decide which ones they want to enforce, morality can be equally squishy in today’s society.

At least in the good old days right and wrong were pretty clearly defined.  Bad was bad.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

Sometimes,
Sometimes bad is bad
I say cool is the rule, but,
Sometimes, bad is bad.

Bad is Bad – Huey Lewis and the News

The Smuggler’s Blues – Our Battle With A Security Officer

Posted on by Standard Reply

Omaha Airport EvacuationI opened the back door of my truck and removed our contraband from under the rear seat – two small ziplock bags, stuffed to capacity.  I carefully tucked them into the bottom of my canvas bag, under the foam seat cushions and between the Kansas City Royals umbrellas.

Nervously, we approached the gate.  The officer glared at me, his brow furrowed in deep suspicion.  I handed the tickets to my son, the blind guy, in the hope that the authorities would be so distracted with him and his white cane that they would forget to check my bag.

“Hold on there, I have to check that bag,” the officer said.  I sheepishly held it up, knowing that I was about to be busted.  This security professional was no newcomer to smuggling.  He knew what he was looking for, and he would find it.  Groping around the bottom of my baseball fan bag, he soon found what he was looking for – contraband peanuts.

“You can’t bring outside food into this stadium,” he sneered, contempt dripping from his lip.

I shoved my son through the gate with instructions to wait for me.  I told him I would return the peanuts to the truck and re-join him at the gate, clean as the driven snow, and worthy of admission to the Charlotte Knights minor league baseball game.  Back to the truck I went.  But somehow, I knew I would have to try again.

This time I packed the peanuts more carefully.  I folded the foam seat cushions completely around the peanut bags so that “the man” would not detect them without actually emptying the canvas bag.  Back I went to the gate.

But Officer Dudley DoRight was up to the challenge.  Empty the bag he did, and once more I was banished from the gate, skulking back to the truck, head hung in shame.  Busted again.

Having failed twice, I gave in.  I threw my peanuts back in the truck and returned to the gate empty-handed, joining my very-confused son, and muttering something about “getting through next time”.

For weeks I schemed.  There must be some way to get peanuts into that stadium undetected.

And then it hit me.  Cargo pants.

Tonight my preparations for our smuggling operation took on a new sense of purpose and zeal as I put on my ghetto-length cargo shorts, the ones with the big long pockets all up and down the front, and buttons for added stealth.  Ha ha! I snickered as I loaded up two, NO, make it THREE! bags of peanuts!  I slid them into the huge pockets of my cargo shorts and they were barely even detectable.

We arrived early at the stadium.   Carrying our Kansas City Royals umbrellas in hand, we didn’t even bother with the canvas bag.  I looked the cop right in the eye as we approached the gate.  I DARE YOU to check me out!  No bag!  No suspicious bulges!

He gave me his usual contemptuous glare, but without a bag to check, all he could do was wag his head toward the gate.

Success!  Finally we had smuggled contraband peanuts into a Charlotte Knights baseball game!

After a two hour rain delay the announcer declared that the game was cancelled.  We took our peanuts home, but we vowed we would be back.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side From the office of the President,
Right down to me and you,
It’s a losing proposition
But one you can’t refuse
It’s the politics of contraband
It’s the smuggler’s blues!
Smuggler’s blues

Smuggler’s Blues – Glen Frey

smugglers blues

Detroit Autopsy – Defined Benefits, Union Paybacks

Posted on by Standard 6

Back in the 1980s I was CFO for a family-owned chain of lumber yards and home centers.  The company had grown to about 300 employees, and was making the transition from a small, easy-going operation to a more fast-paced, modern corporation.

Like most companies of that age and size, mine provided its employees a defined-benefit pension plan.  A defined-benefit plan is one in which employees are guaranteed a specific monthly check at retirement.

There were several problems inherent in these defined benefit plans.  The amount received by the employee after decades of service was actually pretty minimal.   The insurance companies who ran the plans quietly took a huge slice of the pie for their participation, and paid minimal interest on the funds they held.  If an employee changed jobs before he was fully “vested”, he lost most, if not all, of his pension.  And many of these plans were “overfunded”, meaning the company had paid more money into the plan than the employees would ever be able to receive – this cash should be used by the company for some purpose other than making the insurance company richer.

We made the decision to terminate our defined pension plan and convert to a new 401(k) defined contribution plan, which had just been authorized by Congress.  Employees were encouraged to save some money, tax deferred, from every check, and the company generously matched the employee’s contribution.  Employees chose how they wanted to invest their savings, and in no time we all had considerable accounts to look forward to in retirement, which we could take with us if we changed jobs.

The difference between “defined benefit”, which promises security but not prosperity, and “defined contribution”, which offers rewards based on saving and investing, is the difference between “communism” and “capitalism”.

And it is what killed Detroit.  It will kill more cities and states, and perhaps our nation, if we don’t learn this difference and take action now.

Our government union employees are about the only workers left in our country who are promised a guaranteed, and in most cases very lucrative, income at retirement.  Virtually no businesses operate this way.  Our government officials have promised their union employees a great deal more money than they can extract from the taxpayers.  The result is economic disaster.

Maelstrom_of_MoneyHow did this happen?  Simple.  Elected officials control the compensation paid to their union employees as well as the revenues extracted from taxpayers.  Union employees promise to help (with cash and labor) elect the politician.  When elected, the politician pays the union back with higher compensation, using money that is extracted from the taxpayers.  It goes around and around until the government is broke.

We must guard against government growth with every breath.  The framers of our constitution were trying to create a system that would not be subject to the corruption that has eventually destroyed every government in history.   Government must be restricted to only strictly necessary spending, according to the constitution, and let the miracle of free-market economics build our wealth and improve the standard of living for all.

The only way out is to elect officials who will eliminate government employee unions, and stop the unholy cycle of pay-backs. Government employees should be compensated fairly based on actual performance, and compete for their jobs, just as employees in the private sector do.

Before you vote for any elected official, ask him or her for a statement of position on government employee unions.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

Too many people need me
I’ve got so much, so much to do
But when my traveling is over
I’ll pay you back with interest
I’ll pay you back with interest

Brian Schweitzer, Say It Isn’t So!

Posted on by Standard Reply
photo by Alex Wong

photo by Alex Wong

It’s so sad to see former Montana governor Brian Schweitzer limping unceremoniously off the national stage, when everyone expected him to fill Max Baucus’ seat in the Senate.

Schweitzer was so good for Montana as governor – vetoing all those bills.  There was no doubt, Brian Schweitzer knew what was best for Montana, regardless of what the citizens or the legislature wanted.  His judgment was obviously superior to everybody else’s.

House Speaker Mike Milburn, R-Cascade, said they sent Schweitzer jobs-creating bills and believe the vetoes went against Montanans’ will.  “We’re hoping that he’s doing this not for political purposes or not for entertainment purposes, that it’s something that he truly believes in,” Milburn said. “But the show, whatever it was, we were figuring it was more for entertainment value.”

And you know, it’s just heartbreaking to know that the Commission of Political Practices was actually doing corrupt and despicable things while Schweitzer was in office.  Surely Brian Schweitzer would not have tolerated any hanky-panky if he had known about it, right?

According to IRS records, Council for a Sustainable America, or CSA, was formed in 2008 in Helena as a 527 political action committee to “educate voters about elected officials and candidates.” Gallik, the former commissioner of political practices, was listed as the group’s treasurer. Gallik, a Helena attorney, declined to comment on the organization, its purpose or its activities. Citing attorney-client privilege, Gallik said, “Even if I knew — and I’m not saying I do or I don’t — I can’t go there.”

We know what a loyal Democrat Brian Schweitzer was.  And obviously, all of his fellow Democrats just loved him.

The source said Tester was “sticking knives” in Schweitzer’s potential run. In the days before Schweitzer decided to drop his potential bid, a number of stories emerged about Schweitzer’s ties to “dark” and “secret money” groups.  Three sources close to Schweitzer’s campaign fingered Tester’s camp as the source of two unflattering stories that popped up in the past week — one in Politico and one in the local Great Falls Tribune. These sources singled out Tester and Tom Lopach, his chief of staff.

Brian Schweitzer was for the common man.  He was opposed to dark money in politics – umm, I mean, well, for . . . other people.

It’s just such a shame.  Brian Schweitzer was as clean as the driven snow.  He was a star on David Letterman and Bill Maher.  He had no ego at all.  Everybody loved him!  So much so, in fact, that he was being groomed to run for President some day!  And those rumors about corruption, well . . . how could they be true?

Blixseth and Flynn have repeatedly charged that Kirscher’s bankruptcy decision was fraudulently influenced in a 2009 meeting with Montana’s governor at the time, Schweitzer. The meeting resulted in a decision to allow Blixseth’s ex-wife and Sam Byrne, a Boston real estate investor with ties to the Democratic Party, to buy the Yellowstone Club at a price substantially below market value after the bankruptcy had been declared.  Flynn further alleged in a letter shared with WND, addressed to the Public Integrity Section of the U.S. Department of Justice, that Burkle, Byrne and Schweitzer funneled more than $1.2 million through the Democratic Governor’s Association in 2008 to the Montana Democratic Party for the benefit of Schwitzer’s re-election campaign.

Well, I am just heartbroken that former Montana governor Brian Schweitzer  is being accused of all of these terrible things when we all know they could not possibly be true!  Say it isn’t so, Brian!

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
Say it isn’t so painful
To tell me that you’re dissatisfied.
Last time I asked you
I really got a lame excuse.
I know that you lied.

Say It Isn’t So – Hall and Oates

Brazil’s “Tea Party” – Takin’ It To the Streets

Posted on by Standard 4

Brazil protestThe government has become too big, inefficient, costly and corrupt.  Citizens are oppressed and punished by heavy-handed government officials.  Promises made by the government have not been kept.  Taxes increase, but services diminish.  The health care system is broken.  Scandals arise daily, revealing government corruption in every corner.   The voters elected the nation’s first ____  president without proper vetting, and now regret it.   A land of astonishing natural resources and industrious people languishes in economic misery.

No, it’s not the United States.  It’s Brazil.

This week, frustrated Brazilians took to the streets.  What was the “one more drop” (Brazilian version of the straw that broke the camel’s back) that pushed citizens over the edge, uniting rich, poor and middle-classes in protest in the face of violent police pushback?  It was a twenty-cent increase in bus fare.  One more little spit in the public’s eye by a government class that has taken its power and control for granted.

It wasn’t only the relentless increases in taxes and fees.  It wasn’t just the massive spending on lavish sports facilities while hospitals and roads crumble.  Or the ubiquitous “palm-greasing” for political favors.  It was all the above, and finally “one more drop.”

One protester quoted in The Independent (UK) summed it up: “Our parents fought against the dictatorship, but then we went to sleep,” he admitted.   After an extended period of improving economic conditions and expanding personal freedoms and opportunities, Brazil’s government got too big for its britches.   “Now, finally, we’re waking up.”

Fortunately Brazil enjoys an aggressive and free press, who relish in pointing out the failures of their government.  Brazil’s first female president, Dilma Rousseff, a Marxist who battled the country’s ruling military junta before being catapulted to its highest elected office, now sees her popularity rating tumble.  After a prolonged silence, she has announced her intention to pursue reforms.

It seems the disrespect Brazil’s government shows its citizens is not so different from our own.  But our only resistance to date has been a small but persistent Tea Party, which is vilified by those who refuse to wake up.  In Brazil, the people are “taking it to the streets.”  Could it happen here?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
Are you…telling me the things you’re gonna do for me
I ain’t blind and I don’t like what I think I see
Takin’ it to the streets
Takin’ it to the streets

Takin’ It To The Streets – Michael McDonald

People Got To Be Free – Including Black People

Posted on by Standard 1

Freedom plateI have worried about the racial polarity evident in our elections.  Minorities, especially blacks, have tended to vote in lockstep for Democrats.  I don’t understand it, because I can’t see where Democrats have elevated the lives of African Americans in any way – in fact, the opposite seems to be true.

And from a personal standpoint, if a group told me day after day, year after year, generation after generation that I am not capable of taking care of myself and my family – that I am inferior to others and unable to compete – I would be furious.

I have never really believed the statistics we are presented about the black community’s political leanings.   Everywhere I look there are black families who appear to believe in and live every principle of conservatism.   It’s hard to accept that all of these people close the curtain and pull the “D” switch every time.

This week a Democrat state senator from Louisiana, Elbert Guillory, switched to the Republican party, with a very polished and carefully crafted video speech explaining his decision.  Granted, the production had “campaign” written all over it, and Mr. Guillory will no doubt receive a great deal of notoriety.  Still, the message he delivers is a perfect analysis of the state of political affairs in the black community.

 

 

I hope we will see a burgeoning “emancipation” movement among African Americans – a reach for freedom from generations of what Guillory calls “plantation” treatment at the hands of Democrats who have taken their loyalty for granted for far too long.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

All the world over, so easy to see
People everywhere just wanna be free
I can`t understand it, so simple to me
People everywhere just got to be free

People Got To Be Free – Felix Cavaliere and the Rascals

Isn’t it strange how so many of the “Peace” and “Freedom” songs of the sixties are appropriate now?  Today’s political “left side” claims these songs, but the roles are reversed – they are now the oppressors, the imperialists and the intolerant.  Check out this great concert clip of Ringo Starr’s band with guest Felix Cavaliere.

 

I Am Running for President

Posted on by Standard 6

recessionOur nation languishes in an economic recession that seems intractable.

Our manufacturing base is gone.  Many of our cities and states are bankrupt.  The aisles at the neighborhood Dollar Store are jammed.

Still, there doesn’t seem to be any sense of alarm.  We whistle past the graveyard, as our government borrows and prints ever-increasing gobs of money to shore up our sagging standard of living.  We know it has to come crashing down.  The bubble will burst.  Are we content to just wait around until the doo-doo hits the fan?

Meanwhile, our fearless leaders offer no suggestions, no plans, no hope for a solution to this inevitable economic Hiroshima.  Have you heard anything from our President or our Congress that leads you to believe the economy will get better?

Decision-making has devolved into finger-pointing.  Politicians ride the fence, careful to not suggest anything that might cost them a vote as they play on the emotions of a citizenry that has become numb to bad news.  The remaining few of us who realize the gravity of our economic situation have, frankly, given up.

Tom-presidentTo hell with it.  I’m tired of whining about the situation and nothing gets done.   If nobody else will step up, I guess I have to.  ELECT ME AS YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT.  I will head the ticket for the E Party (the “E” stands for Economy).

If elected, I will declare war – call it World War “E”.  We will attack our economic crisis with a national fervor and urgency not seen since World War II.  The futures of our children and grandchildren depend on it.  You will ask not what your country can do for you, you will ask what you can do for your country.  And what you can do for your country is demand performance from our federal government, starting with Congress.

No more pandering for votes by competing to see who can give away the most stuff.  No more political correctness and phony junk science.  No more corruption – government crooks will do jail time, not get suspended with pay.  No more 139-day work calendar.  You will stay in session, you will do research and deliberation, you will work until you come up with solutions!  The president and the citizens will tell you – Congress – what needs to be done, and you will do it!

We will seal the borders and stop the flood of poor and unskilled illegal immigrants – we can’t afford them and we need to take care of our own.   We will eliminate corporate taxes, death taxes, and all other double taxation, and will create a simple, fair and flat tax system – this will spur the economy and eliminate corruption between big business and politicians.  We will sell all unused federal property.  We will eliminate all obsolete and inefficient federal programs.  We will abolish the corrupt government employee unions.

We will embrace our natural resources and become the energy provider to the world.  We will implement modest tariffs on all imports and bring manufacturing jobs home.  We will build 21st-century transportation and communication infrastructure and a state-of-the-art national defense system, including REAL anti-terrorism with profiling – not hassling Grandma at the airport.  We will let the rest of the world sort out their own problems, and make sure they know better than to screw with us.  Those nations who want to join our side in World War E will be welcomed to the team.  Kick the United Nations out.  Drop out of the World Trade Organization.  Tell the Chinese to get on board or bug off.

We will help the helpless, but not the clueless.  We will teach our children patriotism, history, free-market economics, and individual responsibility.  We will make our education system relevant, functional, and competitive.  We will encourage excellence and initiative rather than dependency.

We can do this.  Look at what our nation has accomplished in the past when our backs were against the wall.

Can I count on your vote?

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right SideI’m your top prime cut of meat, I’m your choice,
I want to be elected!
I’m your Yankee Doodle Dandy in a gold Rolls Royce,
I want to be elected!
Kids want a savior, don’t need a fake,
I want to be elected!
We’re all gonna rock to the rules that I make,
I want to be elected!

Elected – Alice Cooper

Here’s my first campaign commercial!