I studied and taught economics but I still could never quite figure out the Democrat’s plan to improve our economy. But now I think I finally get it. I listened to Bernie and Hillary at the DNC convention, and it has all become clear to me. In fact, thanks to Hillary’s lesson in Democrat economics, I think I can now even beat the Democrats’ plan for creating jobs and improving the economy.
Hillary wants to at least double the federal minimum wage to $15 per hour, right? She says $20 per hour would be even better. Well, I say if $15 is good, and $20 is better, why not $50? Heck, why not $100 an hour? Just think, if all the burger-flippers and lawn mowers and hotel maids made $100 an hour ($208k per year) they could buy so much stuff that there would be millions of new manufacturing jobs to make all the things they want to buy.
Plus everybody could eat their meals at fancy, expensive restaurants. So those restaurants would have to hire more waiters, and dishwashers and janitors. They would all make at least $208,000 a year, so they could buy more stuff too! You see how dollars circulate when a Democrat runs the economy? Everybody wins!
Wait, if everybody eats at fancy restaurants, the burger-flippers wouldn’t have anything to do. Oh well, they could play Pokémon Go when business is slow. Or they could stay home and do tele-work like our federal government employees do when it gets hot outside. Problem solved. Maybe the federal workers are playing Pokémon Go, too.
Hillary also wants to open our borders and ports so there will be many more immigrants coming to our country. She says we need more immigrants to do the low-paid jobs that Americans don’t want to do. She says immigrants are better at starting businesses than Americans are. She says immigrants add a lot more to the economy than they take from it. Well, then! If immigrants are so great for our economy, let’s invite all of the people in Africa to move in with us! And Mexico, and Myanmar . . . there are a lot of potential immigrants all over the world. Just think how great our economy will be when they all live here!
Oh wait, if minimum wage is $100 an hour, there won’t be any low-paid jobs for them to take. Hmm. But hey, there will be so many new jobs from everybody else buying stuff with their new higher wages, the immigrants can take those jobs. Hmm. But then where would the Americans work?
Shoot, this is getting kind of hard.
Well, Hillary says college education should be free for everybody, and student loans should just be written off. Probably a lot of Americans won’t have to work, then, because they will be going to college full time with free room and board. So there will be jobs for the immigrants. That’s how Greece does it. Oops, that didn’t work out very well for Greece, did it? And I guess maybe the immigrants will all be in free college too . . .
Dang it, it seemed to make sense when Hillary explained it. So how are we going to create jobs and grow the economy?
Oh, I know. Let’s just raise taxes on the rich!
Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side
Said when this is all over
You’ll be in clover
We’ll go out and spend
All of your Blue Money!