Many people are demanding that the minimum wage be raised to $15 an hour. They complain that some people make too much money, and that’s why poor people earn so little.
You see, liberals believe that wealth is a zero-sum game. If one person gets more, another gets less. They think that raising the minimum wage would transfer wealth from the owner of a business, or its high-paid employees, to the poor, hard working lower-paid people. Simple.
My fantasy football team got clobbered this weekend. It didn’t help that my opponent’s quarterback, Peyton Manning, scored 7 touchdowns and passed for 462 yards . . . but anyway, some of my players’ terrible performances made me wonder how much they earn per hour, compared to their teammates.
My starting tight end, Anthony Fasano, makes $1.2 million per year. That places him somewhere in the middle of the expense report for the Kansas City Chiefs. At the top of the Chiefs report is Tamba Hali, a defensive lineman who makes over $12 million per year.
Fasano had a pretty disappointing opening week, catching only two passes for 8 yards in the first game of the season. He doesn’t block much, so his value is based on his catches. My simple math (not the way it is taught in our government schools today) works like this: $1.2 million divided by 16 one-hour games per season is $75,000 per hour. Now I know, Anthony is working at practice, and in the off-season, and during time-outs too. But let’s face it, his value to his employer is only the 60 minutes he is on the clock on Sunday.
If Fasano is making $75,000 per hour, no wonder the kids at the car wash only make $7.50! Just think, if Fasano didn’t play football, they could divvy up his paycheck!
But darn, business is so complicated. Fasano was paid one-tenth as much as Chiefs lineman Tamba Hali. Hali didn’t gain any yards – he is a defensive player. Still, he got a couple of tackles and returned an interception for a touchdown. He anchored the defense, who shut down the Jacksonville offense, leading to an easy win. How do we compare Hali’s worth to Fasano’s? They both worked an hour.
My fantasy team quarterback, Aaron Rogers, is the highest paid player in the NFL, at $22 million per year (not quite up to Madonna’s pay rate, she earned $125 million). Using the simple (non-Common Core) math, that’s about $1,375,000 per hour. Just think, if the Packers owners – who are mostly season-ticket holders – let Aaron go tomorrow, they could hire 184,000 guys for each of their eight home games at $15 per hour to sell hot dogs at Lambeau Field!
But wait a minute . . . if Aaron was not playing, who would be there to buy all those hot dogs? Maybe it doesn’t matter if the Packers win, or if there is a game at all . . . People will just go to Lambeau and buy hot dogs from the 184,000 hot dog guys anyway, right? (hmm, we might need a bigger stadium to hold all of those hot dog guys . . . )
It just seems really unfair that Rogers makes $1.4 million per hour, and the hot dog sellers only earn $7.50. So, I guess let’s just pay Aaron $15 an hour and then we can hire 184,000 hot dog sellers at $15 an hour and that will even help reduce our high rate of unemployment. That’s fairness, and unemployment problem solved!
Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side
It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am
I guess that’s why they call me
They call me the working man
Workin’ Man – Rush