T-Rex Trump Devours Low-T Ryan

Ryan vs TrumpPaul Ryan attended the University of Miami (Ohio) where he got a degree in economics and political science and worked for John Boehner’s congressional campaign.  After graduation he immediately moved to Washington, DC and became enmeshed in the Republican machinery.  But for a short stint selling hot dogs, Ryan has never held a non-government job.  In 1998 he ran for Wisconsin’s first district congressional seat, and won.  Since then he, like most incumbents, has been repeatedly re-elected, and in October of last year he replaced his old friend Boehner as Speaker of the House, causing a uproar among grassroots conservatives. He promised to bring “regular order” back to Congress, whereby the budget would be broken into spending bills which would by voted upon individually.  Instead, he rammed through another hideous “omnibus” spending bill chock full of Boehneresque pork and political paybacks.  Like his predecessor, Ryan has shown no desire to stand up to the Obama juggernaut of executive overreach.  Now Ryan says he is “not ready to support” Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican candidate for president. (170 words)

Ryan is a Washington Insider. (5 words)

Ryan was elected to Congress by receiving a few hundred thousand votes in his Wisconsin district.   Trump, meanwhile, is set to smash GW Bush’s all-time record of almost 11 million Republican primary votes nationwide.  Despite his delusions of grandeur, “Low-T” Ryan’s position on the political food chain is significantly beneath than that of “T-Rex” Trump.  While a few conservative members still sheepishly defend their support of Ryan’s speakership, many have already had enough, and there are whispers in the DC jungle of an insurrection.

Like many other Washington Insiders, Ryan thinks it is still safe to look down his nose at Trump and Trump’s legions of supporters.  His arrogance is exactly why Trump enjoys such historic public acclaim. They still don’t get it.  And if they don’t get it pretty soon, they risk extinction.

T-Rex Trump, ever the populist, knows what’s bugging voters.  While Ryan and the Insiders whimper that government will have to cut back benefits for seniors, Trump says let’s rev up the economy.  As the Insiders fuss over how many hundreds of transgendered Mexican environmentalist college safe-zone dwellers they can win over from the Democrats, Trump invites the every-man masses to join him in making America great again.  While the insiders fear alienating women voters, Trump promises to protect them from invading hordes of Muslim immigrants, many of whom believe in the systemic abuse of women (and gays).

Sorry, Paul Ryan.  T-Rex Trump is stomping around the jungle, hunting for breakfast, and you Insiders are looking pretty tasty.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

Open the door, get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur!

Walk the Dinosaur – Was (Not Was)

 

 

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