Bill Tells Loretta, “Don’t Worry, Baby!”

bill clinton jetLoretta’s jet pulled off the runway and onto the tarmac at the executive end of Sky Harbor Airport.  Glancing out the window she spotted a familiar sight.

“Oh look!  There’s Bill’s plane!” she said, pointing to the big gray Gulfstream parked on the outside edge of the field.  “I’d recognize it anywhere.”

Moments later, her phone rang.  “Hi, Loretta, it’s Bill.  Do you have a minute?”  Soon he was bounding up the steps into her smaller, but comfortable government-issue Lear jet.

“That’s a beautiful plane you have there, Bill,” Loretta said.

“Oh, that old thing?  It’s all the foundation could afford.  Shoot, you ought to see the 727 my friend Jeff Epstein had.  We called it the “Lolita Express” because of all the young honeys Jeff kept on the plane for those trips to Orgy Island. Yeah, heh heh, I was on that thing about every other weekend for a few years . . . ”

“Oh, um, Mr. President, I’d like you to meet my husband . . . ” Loretta interrupted.

“Nice to meet you, man,” Bill said, shaking hands.  “You must be pretty proud of Loretta here.  I remember when I put her on the bench, and now she’s the AG.  You know if my wife gets elected, she’s going to need some good people – Supreme Court justices, cabinet positions.  Of course that’s if she doesn’t get indicted.”

“But, Mr. President, I don’t think we are supposed to talk about that,” Loretta said, with a worried look.  “After the FBI investigations are finished, it will end up on my desk.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that, Loretta,” Bill grinned.  “We’ve been through some little scuffles like that before, and nothing ever comes of it.  It’s like I told Ron Brown when the FBI and all those other guys were after him, you know, right before the election?  Yeah, he said he would have to testify against me and ‘Hil’ to the grand jury in a few days.  I told him, ‘Don’t worry Ron, things will work out’.  Too bad about that plane crash.”

Loretta gulped.  “But Mr. President, there is so much evidence about all the billions of dollars you and your wife raised for your foundation, and it looks like you were doing favors for other countries and bankers and . . . I just don’t know how I can stop it from coming out . . . ”  She looked liked she might cry.

“Now, Loretta,” Bill crooned, patting her on the shoulder.  “You’re not the first one who faced a tough decision.  Our friend Vince Foster was in charge of handling the information on our little Whitewater problem, and some things for Hillary, and he was really worried too.  But look, nothing came out of that either.”

Bill got up to leave.  “I sure do enjoy those grandbabies of mine.  I’ve got a new one, you know.”

“Yes, I have grandchildren too, from my husband’s previous marriage,” Loretta whispered, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

“Keep an eye on those grandkids,” Bill said as he started back down the steps.  “I’m sure nothing will happen to them.  Take care now, I’ve got a tee time.”

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
Don’t worry baby.
Don’t worry baby!
Everything will turn out all right.

Don’t Worry Baby – the Beach Boys



Hillary Clinton Is the New Houdini

houdini_630Harry Houdini astonished audiences in the early 20th century by proving that he could escape any confinement or restraint.  Whether hung upside down in a straight-jacket, handcuffed and crammed into an airtight milk can, or wrapped in padlocked chains and dumped in a water tank, he always got out of his predicament.

Now, in the early 21st century, we are graced with an escape artist of equal magnitude. Hillary Clinton is the Houdini of our time.  She has repeatedly proven that she can escape responsibility for any dishonest, fraudulent, or illegal act.

Even in the face of irrefutable, photographic, video and eyewitness evidence, Hillary always escapes unscathed.  While others who commit similar or lesser crimes serve jail terms, Mrs. Clinton only gets wealthier and more powerful – so wealthy and powerful that she is odds-on favorite to become the leader of the free world.

Her early exploits were impressive.  She turned a $1000 cattle-futures investment into $100,000 through a crooked broker against odds estimated by economists to be one in 31 trillion.  No investigation occurred.

Hillary’s behind-the-scenes activities in defense of her philandering husband during his presidency are legendary, and a number of mysterious deaths are alleged to be related.  Again, no investigations.

Other miraculous escapes by Mrs. Clinton included her involvement in the Whitewater scandal, “Travelgate”, “Filegate”, and Vince Foster’s death.  Attempted inquiries were choked off.

After Bill Clinton’s presidency, and during Hillary’s tenure as a senator and then secretary of state, the couple amassed a fortune by selling influence to foreign leaders and corporate entities, laundering the proceeds through the bogus Clinton Foundation.  Only 5% of the Foundation’s tax-exempt funds have found charitable purpose, the rest being used for salaries, travel, and lifestyle for the Clintons and their close associates.

With her mojo definitely working and a track record of invincibility in recent years, Hillary has become fearless.  She blatantly lied about her actions during and after the attack on the Benghazi consulate.  And while this escape act did come under congressional investigation, she still denies the proven facts of her complicity, confident that her firm grip on every testicle in Washington, DC will shelter her from harm.

And now, in the climax of her escape-artist career, Hillary Clinton will attempt to avoid prosecution for a blizzard of felonies and treason.  With full knowledge of the illegality and the risk to national security, Secretary of State and Wannabe-President Hillary Clinton set up and used a clandestine personal email server for all of her State Department business.

Some motives can’t be masked.  Just as there can be no motive for fighting voter-ID requirements other than the desire to commit vote fraud, there can be no motive for setting up a private communication system other than the desire to keep 100% control over one’s messages.  She didn’t just use a Gmail account, like other federal officials have.  She didn’t create a private mail account through an internet service provider.  Either choice would have provided the “convenience” she claimed she needed, but they also would have left copies of all her emails to be dredged up by later FOIA requests and investigators.  No, Mrs. Clinton actually set up her own private physical server so that all the communications would be entirely under her control.  When the Benghazi investigation discovered her crime, she “wiped” the server clean.  She claims to have turned over all of her emails, but to this date, over half of her emails have still not seen the light of day.  Classified federal documents, some of them “life or death”, were put at risk and were probably compromised by foreign government hackers.

Mrs. Clinton is counting on a number of factors to make her latest great escape work.  She hopes that the American public’s eyes will glaze over when presented technical information about computers and emails.  She believes that her stated desire for “convenient” access to her emails will resonate with citizens who can’t put their cell phones down for more than a few minutes without beginning to shake.  She expects the lockstep-liberal news media will continue to shelter her, as they always have in the past.  She is sure that her IT honcho and her highly-paid aides, including the “terrified” Huma Abedin, will keep their mouths shut.  Mostly she is confident that we are so dumbed-down and self-absorbed that we don’t know or care what’s going on.

If she’s right, we may have the greatest escape artist of all time back in the White House this November.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right SideNo one could tell her what to do
Had to learn everything the hard way
She’s on the street, breakin’ all the rules
I’m tellin’ you that she’s nobody’s fool

Escape – Journey