Another Letter From My Friend Barack

As you know, I am a friend of Barack Obama.  I get an e-mail from him every day (personally addressed to “friend”!  That’s me!) asking for $5.  He even gave me a cool cell phone, with 250 minutes a month, for free!

Yesterday the letter from my friend Barack was all about how much money he gets from these e-mails.   I’ll be happy to share it with you:

Organizing for Action
This is amazing: 355,367 people have chipped in to own a piece of this movement.
Our average contribution is $59 -- that's as grassroots as it gets.
We're standing up to lawmakers who are doing anything to stand in the way. Senator Ted Cruz.
Shady groups are spending millions to scare folks out of health care.
Scary Uncle Sam.
But they don't scare us.

The other side will spend millions to maintain the status quo. We’re fighting for change —
chip in $5 or more to support OFA today.

Let’s do some quickie math (I learned that before Common Core).  355,367 people “chipped in” to fight for ObamaCare, times an average contribution of $59.  Hmmm, that’s about $20,966,653.  I have a question for my friend Barack.  Where does this $21 million go? Is anybody keeping an eye on it for you, so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands?

Barack, I know you’re worried about shady groups trying to scare people out of getting health care.  These groups are so scary that women will probably stay home and have their babies on the pool table in their rec rooms, rather than go to a hospital.  People will be so afraid of health care that they will fix their own broken arms with sticks and duct tape.

Maybe you should use the money to fix your website so somebody could enroll in your ObamaCare program!  Then they won’t be afraid, right?

Today I got a letter from Bill Clinton.  It said “Friend – send $3”.

I think I like my friend Bill better.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side Best Friend – Harry Nilsson