Monthly Archives: February 2013

If I Had a Million Dollars, I’d Live Like a Retired Govt. Worker

Posted on by Standard 9

Richie_Rich_comic_No_1As a kid I thought it must really be something to be a millionaire.  We read “Richie Rich” comic books and imagined how cool it would be to live in a mansion, with servants and cooks and an indoor swimming pool.

Of course, it was the impossible dream.  Only a rare few Americans could ever be that rich, and they were born to wealthy families.  Still, back then, life was good for most Americans.  Dads went to work, paid the bills, bought modest homes and Chevies, and took the family on a summer road trip to Mount Rushmore.  Moms stayed home, raised the 2.1 kids, attended PTA meetings, and always had a hot, healthy meal ready when Dad came home from work.

What happened?

A million bucks sure isn’t what it used to be.  With CDs paying maybe 1% interest at best, those who worked hard and saved a million dollars can now look forward to a retirement income of – wow – $10,000 a year.  Add that to social security income, of course, but still.   No indoor swimming pool.  No servants.

And it’s not like there are other investment opportunities for retirees.   The only guys making money in the stock market are the hedge fund operators and the machine traders buying and selling at the speed of light.  Municipal bonds pay a couple percent and are tax free – oh that’s right, most city and county governments are bankrupt.

There is one group of really wealthy American retirees.   Retired unionized government workers get guaranteed pensions.  Most receive over $60,000 per year.  There are many government employees who toiled for 25 or 30 hard years, sometimes even working over 35 hours per week behind a hard, cold desk with only 7 weeks of vacation and 15 holidays off each year.  Poor souls, at retirement they must make do with $100k per year plus full medical benefits.

Do the math.  In order to pay a retired teacher $60k per year, we American taxpayers are putting up $6 million at 1% interest.  The retired county engineer who receives a $100k pension requires a taxpayer investment of $10 million to fund his checks.

In an economy where many moms and dads both work long hours and are barely able to feed their families, let alone save anything for retirement, it’s hard to feel sorry for government employees who will retire with multi-million dollar nest eggs.

When I see a headline like this:

Obama Sequester Speech: Republicans Are Putting Economy At Risk To Help The Wealthy

I shake my head in amazement at the level of deceit our President and his followers continue to get away with.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
We’d take a limousine cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner

If I Had A Million Dollars – Barenaked Ladies

The Left Knows What Men Want – Dumb Blondes and Bison

Posted on by Standard 1

meghan kellyToday, while waiting for a haircut at a local “clip joint”, I looked for a magazine to pass the time.  Of the 50 or so in the rack, I found only one that was not written for women.  I admit I was tempted to open one of the ladies’ rags to find out “What Men Really Want”, as promised on the cover.  Not that I care about other men, mind you – I just wanted to see if the editors got it right.  But my old-school inhibitions kicked in, and I reached for the men’s magazine instead.

It was called “Men’s Something or Other” – I had never seen or heard of it before.  The titles on the cover left no doubt that the editors knew exactly what would catch the eye of any reader under the influence of testosterone.   Like, “The Sexy Blondes at Fox News”.

As soon as I opened the cover, I realized something was wrong.  None of the articles resembled the titles.  In fact, each was a left-wing political manifesto, thinly veiled as an article of legitimate interest to men.

The piece about the Fox News women was hilarious.  The writer expressed how aroused “he” is whenever “he” sees “fake blondes” Gretchen Carlson or Meghan Kelly.  “He” fantasizes about sexual encounters with them, sharing with the world how their stupidity makes “him” all the more horny.   The language was reminiscent of seventh grade locker room talk, except when describing the specific political issues that demonstrate how stupid the Fox women really are.

Note the quote marks I placed around “him”.  I inserted them because there’s no way in hell that article was written by a man.  At least not a heterosexual one.  I’m sorry, but no man on earth would admit – repeatedly and enthusiastically – that he experiences physical arousal from watching the news.  Or that the more he politically disagrees with a woman, the more physically aroused he becomes.  Or that he gives a hoot whether a woman’s hair is artificially colored or not.

The article was mercifully short, and with trepidation I thumbed to the next item of primal interest to us manly men – a passionate tome about the “Ten Most Urgent Steps To Stop Global Climate Change.”  Number one was the mission to stop burning coal, followed by the worn-out left-wing checklist: more wind and solar power, eliminate all offshore oil drilling, and ban fracking.

It was item number five that made my jaw drop:

“Place free-roaming bison herds in the CM Russell Wildlife Refuge of Central Montana”.  What the hell does that have to do with Climate Change?  

The hair-person (I sure miss barber shops) called my name and I shuffled to the chair, my mind reeling from all the things that are wrong with this picture.  Was the “men’s” magazine a fake-out, actually written by Valerie Jarrett to subliminally indoctrinate us unsuspecting neanderthals?  Or was it an actual attempt to publish a real men’s magazine by female editors who have never had a date?

Anyway, it again illustrates that there are no “special interest” groups on the left.   All leftists support all leftist causes.  What else could explain the promotion of bison – specifically bison dropped into the CMR of Montana – as a solution to climate change?

Rockin’ On the Right Side – Tom Balek

Rockin' On the Right Side I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I see them looking
I make them want me

I like to tease them
And they want to touch me
I never let them

I Know What Boys Like – the Waitresses

This may be the campiest video ever featured in “Rockin’ On the Right Side” . . .

You’re A Rich Girl

Posted on by Standard 2

With so much recent talk about the rich, the poor, and fairness, maybe we should take a deeper look at wealth in America.

US_real_median_household_income_1967_-_2011Real median household income in the US is about $50,000 per year.   This includes wages, business income, and most forms of government assistance.  Household income is roughly the same as it was in 1989, adjusted for inflation, after declining about 8 percent since President Obama took office.

There are many ways to categorize people by income.  Location is one – Maryland residents top the list in per family income, largely because of the number of federal employees who work nearby in the nation’s capital.  Montana ranks 44th.

One’s race, unfortunately, still affects income, with Asians doing the best and blacks worst.   Education is also a factor, and the earnings curve between high-school dropouts and those with advanced college degrees is steep.

Statistics like these might suggest that we are doomed by our birth demographics.   Not so.  Consider that one of the biggest factors in one’s earning power is age.  Younger people earn less – it’s just a fact of life.  Younger people have less education.  The average age of minorities is disproportionately younger.  Age affects all the other classifications.

A recent shift in earnings and wealth is troubling – while the overall real median household income is somewhat stable, the income of workers has declined steadily as the income of those on government payments has increased.  Some of this is the result of the graying of America, but government assistance programs have expanded significantly.

Still, whether an American household (the term ‘family’ has become obsolete with the demise of the institution of marriage) receives its income by redistribution from workers or directly from work, we live relatively well compared to the rest of the world.  Comparison of real income is difficult because of currency exchange and other factors, and there are many ways to measure wealth.  Only ten nations exceed our GDP per capita.  While it is often said that most of the world’s citizens live on less than $2 per day, per capita GDP statistics indicates otherwise.

Our poorest citizens live like kings compared to the average Indian or African.  We should ask why.  What do we have that these other nations don’t?  Many of them have tremendous natural resources – that’s not it.  I will not accept that people from other parts of the world are just born inferior to Americans.

The answer, to me, is obvious.  Our nation was built on the principles of free enterprise, unlimited opportunity, and limited government.   We overlook this fact at our peril, and unless we restore the culture of productivity our grandparents championed, our grandchildren will pay a dear price.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

You’re a rich girl,
And you’ve gone too far
‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway
You can rely on the old man’s money
You can rely on the old man honey

Rich Girl – Hall and Oates

Nancy Pelosi – Alzheimers Victim?

Posted on by Standard 1

pelosiThere she was, across from Chris Wallace.  Her taught facial lines belied her 73 years, her posture was perfect, and her bright eyes and smile registered a ten on the energy scale.

It was when she opened her mouth that things went awry.

Early in the interview, she called Chris Wallace “Bill”.  (It was removed from the Fox transcript to prevent embarrassment to Wallace – see this YouTube video and skip to the 4:00 mark.)

(Update – Fox transcript now says “Here’s the thing though . . .”  On Sunday two of us thought we heard “Here’s the thing, Bill” independently — it appears we were both wrong. – Tom)

Wallace asked her why she can’t cut $85 billion (2%) out of the government’s $3.5 trillion budget.  Her response: “Well, we have cut in terms of agriculture subsidies, there are tens of billions of dollars in cuts there and that should be balanced with eliminating subsidy for big oil. Why should we do — why should we lower Pell Grants instead of eliminating the subsidies for big oil?”

Huh?

Wallace pressed her again: “Why not just cut spending? Eighty-five billion dollars in a $3.5 trillion government.”

Her response:  “The fact is that a lot of the spending increases came during the Bush administration. Two unpaid for wars we got ourselves engaged in. A prescription drug plan that added enormous amounts to our spending, and the tax cuts at the high end that did not create jobs and create revenue coming.”

What?

Why didn’t you move to end funding for the wars, repeal the prescription drug benefit plan, and reverse the tax cuts when you were Speaker of the House and your party also held the presidency and the Senate?  And what does a former president, after four years of retirement, have to with the current federal budget (or lack thereof)?

When Wallace pointed out that the top 5% pay 59% of all federal taxes, Pelosi said she doesn’t want to raise taxes again on the wealthy.  Then she blurted, “We also have the Buffett Rule which says all of the high income people would pay a minimum of — they would have to pay — ”

Wallace: “So, you’re raising tax on the wealthy.”

Pelosi:   “No, you are saying they should pay their fair share, which is 30 percent, which is even lower than 39.6, which is the rate — the bracket they are in.”

Nancy was becoming more flustered and incoherent by the minute.

Then Wallace asked for her position on gun control.  Her answer was beyond bizarre:

“No further sales of the increased capacity, 30 rounds in a gun. We are talking about background checks which is very popular, even among gun owners, and, hunters. We avow the First Amendment, we stand with that, and say that people have a right to have a gun to protect themselves in their homes and their jobs, whatever. And that they — and their workplace — and that they, for recreation and hunting and the rest.”

Is it possible she doesn’t know that the right to bear arms is granted in the Second Amendment? Or have all those years of “inside the Beltway” cocktail parties just made her “comfortably numb?”

I don’t wish to make light of senility.  Alzheimer’s is a serious problem.

Maybe it should also be a disqualifier for a seat in Congress.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side
Rockin' On the Right Side
Bill!  I love you so, I always will . . .

I was on your side Bill when you were losin’,
I’ll never scheme or lie Bill, there’s been no foolin’!

Wedding Bell Blues – Marilyn McCoo
the Fifth Dimension
written by Laura Nyro

Immigration and Cowboy Boots

Posted on by Standard Reply

bootsLike all guys from Montana, I love my boots.  When you get a pair of boots that fit just right, you want to keep them wearable as long as you can.  I needed new soles and heels, and quickly – I was starting a new job in a couple of days.

I found Lee’s Shoe Repair on the web and called.   In a deep Chinese accent, the shop owner said, “You bring them over, we take care of you.”  I grabbed my old boots and took off.

Mr. Lee is getting on in years, and is probably a fairly recent immigrant to the United States.  I don’t know that he is here illegally, but he sure could be.  His English is passable, but broken – he had trouble understanding me, and I him.  He said, “I have you boots on Saturday.”

“No, Mr. Lee,” I pleaded.  “I need them by the end of business tomorrow.  I’ll pay extra if you can help me.”

Overhearing the conversation, a husky young guy stuck his head through the doorway from the workroom and drawled, “Hey, no problem there, buddy.  I know how important a man’s boots are.  I’ll git ’em done for you by tomorrow.”  He showed me a better kind of sole that would be more comfortable for long days on my feet.  Relieved, I left my boots in his skilled Texan hands.

The next day I returned to the shoe repair shop and was greeted by Mrs. Lee, a gray-haired lady with bright eyes and a smile as big as China and Texas put together.  The Texan cobbler came out to say hello, too, and I slipped him a ten-spot as a thank you for the rush job.  Mrs. Lee said, “You need insoles so your feet don’t get tired.  I won’t charge you for them.”

I thanked her, marveling at the extraordinary care and pride this couple and their happy Texan employee put into their work.  Then she slipped into the back room, returning with a wrapped package of her special home-made fruit and cinnamon bread.  “You take this,” she smiled.  “Good luck with your new job!”

A week later, I stopped in to the neighborhood Bank of America across the street from Mr. Lee’s shoe repair shop to find out why I had not received my order of checks.  I had been told ten days, and after three weeks they had not arrived.   Annoyed at being bothered, the assistant manager checked his computer and said, “Looks like they were never ordered.  I will put in a new order and you should get them in about ten days.”

I looked him in the eye and asked, “And the magic words when your company screws up are . . . ?”

He gave me a puzzled look.

“How about, ‘I’m sorry?‘” I said.

“Oh, um . . . of course.   I’m, uhh . . . sorry.”  He looked like he just ate a mouthful of worms.

I went across the street to thank Mrs. Lee and the Texan again for the great job they did on my very comfortable boots, and the delicious fruit bread.   Her eyes twinkled, and there was that big smile.  “You wait, I give you ‘Happy Candy’!  You take it!”  I left her shop, chewing her delicious Happy Candy, and reflecting on the difference between these two businesses a few hundred feet apart.

I’m still developing my thoughts on immigration.  And on the Big Bank bailout.

Tom Balek – Rockin On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

These boots are made for walking
And that’s just what they’ll do
One of these days these boots are gonna
Walk all over you!

Are you ready boots?
Start walkin’!

These Boots Are Made for Walkin’ – Nancy Sinatra

Watch this video, if only to see the MINI-SKIRTS!  Those were the good old days . . .

Bootlegging Guns and Ammo – Profit Opportunity!

Posted on by Standard 3

GrannyClampett-729655There has never been a time – in my lifetime at least – when there was so much BUZZ about guns.

Jon Stewart recently interviewed Bob Costas, TV sports announcer, on the Daily Show.   Those of you who ‘Rock’ with me ‘On the Right Side’ may not know that comedian Jon Stewart’s ‘Daily Show’ on the Comedy Channel is the primary news source for the other (low-information) half of our population.

Did Stewart and Costas talk about sports?  Not much.  Mainly their conversation was about gun control.  Costas was aghast that 75% of former NFL coach Tony Dungy’s players admitted they owned guns.

Yesterday I met a small-business owner who was alarmed that there is no ammunition available in the stores in his area.  Even WalMart has bare shelves.  His son asked him where he could get some .22 shells.  “I told him to come on over,” he explained.  “I have at least 25,000 rounds.”

Minutes later, I visited with a harmless-looking little old lady – an attorney, no less – who joked about being her husband’s “bodyguard”.  I asked her if she was packing.  “Every day!” she beamed.  She explained that all of her female friends are either carrying guns now or working on getting their permits.

My employer’s personnel manual lays down the law: “Employees are not allowed to possess firearms on company property, and may not have firearms in their vehicles in company parking lots.”  So I asked some other employees if this rule is actually enforced.  “Oh, heck no,” one manager told me.  “Even the CEO of our company carries a .45.  Do you think we would work around here late at night with no protection?”

The Reverend Jesse Jackson (has anybody seen him in church lately?) beseeches President Obama to come “home” to Chicago and address the gun violence there, while the ruling party continues to talk-talk-talk about tougher gun laws.

It seems like the more the Democrats push gun control, the more guns and ammo are sold.  Remember Prohibition?  If you believe the old movies, when liquor was outlawed folks started spending every night in the “speakeasy” clubs getting blasted and doing that weird Charleston dance with the “flapper” girls.

Gun sales are skyrocketing now, when there is just a suggestion that they may soon be hard to get.  If (when) our fearless leaders succeed at making the possession of firearms illegal, the gun business will really be booming.  Those who have plenty of inventory to sell will be rolling in the dough.  It’s supply and demand.  People want to stay alive, and will spend their money to do so.

So if you are looking for the next big profit opportunity, you might consider being a firearms bootlegger in the coming Obama Gun Prohibition era.

Tom Balek – Rockin’ On the Right Side

Rockin' On the Right Side

Take you a glass of water,
Make it against the law,
See how good the water tastes
When you can’t have any at all!

Bootleg – John Fogerty
(Creedence Clearwater Revival)